Oblio's Cap
No RSS. No SEO. Hand coded in vim. Comments by email.
beau (at) oblios-cap (dot) com | valid html4.01strict? | valid css2.1?
Fri Jan 27 06:35:32 PST 2012
Feeling stochastic, and still trying to grok that word. It was important to Bateson, his idea of the key to teaching evolution, the notion being of bound chance. That, of course, is what calls me about I Ching, the chance to explore what I believe Bateson would call "bound chance" or "stochastic operations". I think he would have used the latter as he is firmly on record as preferring short words like "God" or "grok" as shorthand for an idea not-entirely-well-formed, as contrasted with "stochastic" the idea of which is well-formed and semantically dense (i.e., may obscure but is _not_ fog).
Necessita musica. Uno momento, por favor.
Out
Thu Jan 26 08:38:34 PST 2012
It's the little things. My bathtub finally drains now, thanks to a visit from my landlord's handyman. It makes me feel like maybe I am closer to really getting my rhythm set, getting my home organized, in service of getting myself organized. I don't like to admit how completely disrupted my life has been, by the divorce, by the holidays, by the strange (but wonderful!) living arrangements.
I know I've been avoiding things, people. I get so tired of the condolences, the understanding. I'm glad to know I have so many people who care about me and wish me well, but I'd really rather talk about work, getting it, doing it, getting paid for it, than talk about the past, recent or otherwise.
Hoping to make it back to BHBA next Wednesday, which is the next Entertainment section ExCom meeting. I've pretty much abandoned the IP section for the time being. Also need to call them and ask about CLE's for my stint as moderator. Will place that call...well, right now, I reckon.
Out
Wed Jan 25 08:17:16 PST 2012
No blogging yesterday, and I'm annoyed at myself for having missed it. But at about 02:00 today I awoke and succumbed to a twitter binge.
Two things drew me to twitter back in 2006: Chris Lott and the notion of a haiku-like medium of 140 characters. I suppose the idea seemed not entirely unlike the work of William Carlos Williams, not entirely unlike the Oblio's Cap cards. In the end we all have proved we can make that medium as pointless as any other, but last night I was back to twitter-as-experimental-writing. I could probably just link to my twitter stream, but this was more fun.
hogan? lodge? teepee?
Are Jesus freaks just cross-addicted?
I try not to pretend to understand this life, try to just live it, inhale, exhale, lather, rinse, repeat. Forgive me, please.
I only favor twitter because of friends who, like me, spelunk the shaping power of Constraints.
When he says, "I'm in a strange space, " he means he lives in an attic and his walls slope sharply down on him.
What if "Ouroboros groks" really is my greatest effort, my highest achievement, my worthiest contribution?
I know too many poets to be free of self-consciousness, but that doesn't stop the words from rattling me awake.
cf Simon and Garfunkle's "Leaves that are green turn to brown" from which "like a poem I meant to write".
daily prayers pray | sleepers slumber through the night | winter stars calling
daily prayers pray | sleepers slumber the night | winter stars call me
Posting in the spirit of "like a poem I meant to write" from the middle of a sound sleep, the middle of my big bed.
Last call called and gone, energies shift to forced rehibition, prayers of safe homecoming for the whole darned raft.
They are, of course, in reverse order, last first, first last.
Out
Mon Jan 23 21:16:40 PST 2012
Book I'm reading, "The Widow's Son", by Robert Anton Wilson, includes a footnotes character, de Selby, who writes of "the instinct to gossip". I'm using it out of context, but that's how the phrase got into my head of late. Blame R.A.W.. Actually, his influence is all over, but perhaps you knew that already and that's why you fear me and call me a mind fscker. In that context, I'm proud to say, "Indeed". Anyway, I feel like this post is born of "the instinct to gossip", and, let's face it, that's why most of you are here looking, 'cause I said I was blogging the divorce. (I'm certain no one is here for the Foonberg but me.)
I don't know why I am compelled to say so, especially as I've no doubt said it a time or two below: Gabby threw me on the dust bin, not once, but twice, in less than six months. No matter the issues, no matter who started what during which round, no matter when you want to start the blame clock running, she threw me away, twice, in less than six months. The second time it happened we were ostensibly committed to answering in therapy my question of how I could ever trust her after doing it the first time.
I guess I'm just trying to say why I'm as "moved on" as I am. Sure, I still get blue. Saw a black cat on the neighbor's roof and almost started crying the other day. But that's no matter. I am moved on. I have no choice, and even if I had a choice, self-respect would require me to just move on, as swiftly, gracefully, firmly as possible.
It _hurts_ to think about Gabriela. I won't lie and I won't hide it. But no more than my shattered patella will I let my wounded heart stop me from moving forward to a life I know is waiting for me.
In July when we were separated I felt very focused, kept my head down and my mind on my work. This time it's been harder. I'm hoping, trying to get a proper head of steam and really move forward. I let the holidays and the newness of the changes slow me down, and there are some true challenges to be solved with my living/working space. But it is time to move on, move forward, and, most of all, get to work.
All assistance, even just silent well-wishes from your side of the screen, are eagerly welcomed.
Out
Mon Jan 23 07:27:09 PST 2012
Knocked out another cle, and now turn to Foonberg. I have opened up more or less at random to the section on returning phone calls. Foonberg suggests routinizing an 11:30 and 16:00 "check voicemail and return/schedule return calls" habit. Makes sense. "Don't let the sun set on an unreturned call" is the theory, although Foonberg also suggests a willingness to return calls on evenings and weekends sends a good signal to clients, one that says I am available and concerned. Seems like fairly basic sales-and-marketing, but that might be something not so basic for folks who have spent more time in school than in the working world of the self-employed.
Mostly I think I turn to Foonberg because it is good for me to have his tone and demeanor greet me as early in the day as possible, to help set the tone and demeanor for my own day. It is a challenge some days, keeping my morale up, not just generally but specifically keeping my focus on work when the work I have seems so nebulous and so much of my day-to-day remains so sketchy.
Off now to follow lead on required ethics cle.
Out
Sun Jan 22 20:13:07 PST 2012
Doggone it, but I feel like I gotta duty to blog, and, again, not just to do a quick couple of words but to really pour out a little, let it air a bit, and that might also be heir or err or or or or or I mean I'm reading R.A.W. and watching Allen's paean to Gertrude Stein, with Kathy Bates as Stein no less! and thinking I wished I had an account with someone who had "L.A. Story". Don't know I could sit through every frame but I'm darned sure I could do a good "Reader's Digest" for the right audience. The one I've always wished I could dream of.
At least Donne accepted pentameter once in a while. I really don't deserve "poet". Maybe "word salad artist"?
Out
Sat Jan 21 20:09:06 PST 2012
Captain Ambivalence here, alternately worried about some counter-intuitive lapses recently on the one hand, and walking pretty darned tall about some accomplishments. In the midst I'm drawn to an odd conclusion: However patch-work my collection of father figures, the result seems to be working pretty darned well in a lot of ways. Seemed worth sharing.
Out
Sat Jan 21 00:59:00 PST 2012
Somewhat distressed by my missed posts. Currently am blaming on influx of possessions to be not weighed for non-attached non-aversion? Should make a proper post tomorrow, just for good form.
Out
Wed Jan 18 23:12:23 EST 2012
Stubborn, I put Ubuntu on the mac. It still sucks. The track pad is crappy, the p key sticks, and, of course, the battery is useless. Not sure why I'm still trying.
Out
Tue Jan 17 20:44:32 PST 2012
Goal: One hour with fingers on the keyboard, and only one take. Here goes.
Acoustic "Sounds of Silence", courtesy grooveshark.com. Still not entirely certain how this piece got on the mix. I know it's not from _my_ collection. My optical for that is somewhere in the South Bay.
Complications abound. Most important for the moment, perhaps, is that the ergonomics of my situation do not truly lend to marathon typing sessions. Add in my propensity to over commit, perhaps I should be very generous with breaks lest they manifest in some form I do not in fact prefer to invite.
Might as well do the right thing and check my email. But it's coming out of my blog time, ok?
Nothing noteworthy, considering the time of day, in thunderbird. Sorry for not linking it but http://mozilla.org is about the closest I think I could get just now.
Out
Mon Jan 16 18:57:21 PST 2012
Judy Cecil, R.I.P. 2012
Out
Sun Jan 15 20:23:59 PST 2012
Sometimes meatspace really is more fun than talking about it here. I feel the burden of the I Ching project, but in truth am much more closely attuned to my Te-Tao Ching, as in, "Having nothing is considered useful."
Out
-->
Sat Jan 14 23:12:37 PST 2012
Playing chess w/ Spencer.
Out
Fri Jan 13 23:17:18 PST 2012
Last time an author affected me this way was "Infinite Jest", which I was bad put down undone. This time I'm sticking it out, but circumstances are vastly different. I believe I can in honesty say with only thirteen months in I've had an interesting career as a lawyer. Enough so that I intend to play it for all it is worth, which means putting my shoulder to those wheels I can truly hope to turn towards justice and honor.
Sounds heavier than I mean, probably.
Happy Friday the Thirteenth, by the way. As for this day as for black cats: All things have both good and bad in them. When superstition causes fools to suck the bad out of a thing it yearns for you to sup on the good.
Preamble-wise, when I say, "Shaugnessy", I don't mean anything but praise for his wonderful translation. Any sense of dissatisfaction that may seem to come through my words is with that alien dream journal and the damned dreaming aliens who journalled it.
Shaughessy's 38, "Mingyi, Calling Pheasant".
MINGYI, "CALLING PHEASANT"
Calling pheasant: Beneficial to determine about difficulty.
Seriously, that's all, folks. No nothing about inner face or eldest son or any such nonsense. The rest was either hidden and then revealed or simply made up by opportunists. So my effort here really is fair game.
Great day, and great to feel free to say so.
Out
Thu Jan 12 20:08:00 PST 2012
Qian, Modesty
Without reference to a source like the Willhelm/Baynes, or at least Balkin, it's really hard to get anything meaningful out of one solid line buried among five broken ones. Nor does the trigram analysis help much. We've still got "The Flow" as the external, upper trigram, the essential, Platonic, yin, female, receiving, open. Below, within, we have a male trigram, not at the beginning of life nor in the middle but at the end. That's not at all how the traditional readings see it, just how I am trying to conceive it. After all, the traditional readings make plenty of sense of you happen to live in feudal China. I doubt many of my readers fit that bill, and so I am trying to re-cast the essence of the work in terms of today's society, with a focus on individual stages of development. But "young, adult, and old" sound, well, a little harsh. In the traditional readings the lower trigram here is cast as the eldest son, as mountains, as that which bounds territories. I suppose I could borrow a bit of that, and say this is a man old enough to know his place in the world, not the care-free ways of youth nor even the insecurities of adulthood striving in the world, but a senior place, perhaps contemplating retirement. It's "Old Bull" (but I'm not going to repeat that particular joke at this time.)
Modesty? Eventually the question becomes, is it better to understand the exegesis of the entity, or to accept it as a message from one unconscious to another, trusting that inner wisdom to make something good of the nigh inexplicable. It is a tenet of my approach that the psychological process of closure, of what Henry Hay calls "structure hunger", is more important than that actual text. Ponder a question for 15-20 minutes, all the while counting sticks by groups of four, alternating between uncertainty and certainty 18 times, and then open _any_ book and read until something clicks, shifts, dawns. The dream-journal feel is a perfect fit, and the point isn't ever to answer a question, and it certainly isn't about predicting the future. It's all about feeding your protective unconscious stimuli that will help you reach your conscious answers when and as best fits your personal situation and development. As Crowley says of the tarot, to study is to embark on a path of wisdom. The future is what it as, as is the past, at least of the mechanistic, materialistic view of the world is to be credited. The oracle is just a focus, a bit of brain-floss, to help you find your own answers. And, really there is only one answer, "Soon it will change."
Out
Wed Jan 11 20:27:44 PST 2012
Bedtime. Don't feel like making small talk. Had a nice gym visit this morning, no workout, just time in the steam room, sauna, and jacuzzi, mostly focused on breathing through my nose, and trying to apply some ideas about standing meditation and chi gung to my slightly splay-footed running and walking gait. Lots of stretching and a fair bit of "micro" muscle movements aimed at really sensing what changes when my feet are parallel instead of pointed out a bit. Turns out keeping the feet forward implicates the belly. Go figure. (I'm sure the fitness folks are going, "Well, yeah, duh", but ya gotta start where you are, right?)
Anyway, only logged on to get the daily I Ching post up. Here it comes.
Lin, "The Forest"
Like I've said before, fragmented dream journal from an alien culture. Maybe it's that the hexagram is being seen as two trees in the ground?
- -
- -
- -
- -
---
---
Well, it's a stretch, but it's all I've got at the moment. Well, that, and this: The public face is still "The Flow". It's binary 3. The private face is...nope, don't know without either a trip to wikipedia or some other source. It's the eldest daughter, in the traditional readings, and I'm pretty sure it's "Sun" in the Willhelm/Baynes, penetrating, gentle, and, yes, wood. When wood flows there's a forest? No matter, for my purposes this is publicly the essence of femininity with an undercurrent of not woman or woman-child but aged woman, and suddenly I'm amused by the seeming contradiction of a female energy described as "penetrating".
Recall, part of this project is to simply walk myself through the hexagrams and think about them, right, wrong, good, bad, indifferent. Proper scholars will no doubt take exception with most everything I have to say on the topic. That's fine, I'm not doing this for them. I'm doing this for myself, because I still have this notion that I am going to write 64 "incantations" scripts based on the 64 hexagrams, and publish them in one fashion or another. The idea is that generally the I Ching is essentially bibliomancy, and that the stalk method of casting a hexagram is such a great meditation/self-hypnosis technique that most any book would provide grist for the mill of one's protective unconscious if one so approached the task.
Hmmm, think I'm going to read myself "Unconscious Healing and then turn in. I could use a little of that no my way to the joys that await in dream land.
Soon it will change.
Out
Wed Jan 11 04:48:39 PST 2012
Attempting to start using Thunderbird for the office account. Nerve wracking. Also, looking at hacks that will let me compose in vim while using T-bird. Fingers crossed (which makes typing difficult). Tub still not draining. Probably log off soon so as to get to the gym for a shower. Breathe in, breathe out.
Out
Wed Jan 11 04:05:13 PST 2012
Top of the morning to you, world. Finally have internet here at the house, so I finally can get my blogging done earlier instead of later. I am very grateful for that, not so much because the blogging has value other than to me, but because...hard to articulate. Being without internet in the home is like being without electricity? That overstates. But the ten days without access certainly heightened my awareness of the extent to which my plans and general mode of operation assumes steady, ready access to the vast information pool of the net.
The upshot is I feel something has shifted. And just in time, too. I need to finish up my CLEs by the end of the month, and there are a fair few other projects on the boards that need more attention than they have been getting. It's nice to feel a little closer to some norm that will allow me to move forward.
I Ching later.
Out
Tue Jan 10 20:21:49 PST 2012
Shi, The Troops
Binary two. Chuan, The Flow as the public, outer, conscious face. And the inner face? That's a little harder. The better known name for this trigram, one solid in the middle of two broken, is "The Abyss", with the image of a roaring river at the bottom of a deep ravine, and it was often seemingly portrayed as a dangerous sign. I tend to try to cast each trigram and hexagram in neutral terms, on the premise that as neither yin nor yang are good nor bad, so too none of the resulting figures can be good nor bad, save in one's understanding of and working with the energies in question. So instead of "The Abyss" I thought of channeling and commitment and the power that comes from circumstances which so direct.
But the Shaughnessy calls the doubled trigram of one solid sandwiched between two broken, "The Well". I can feel a connection with the "river at the bottom of a ravine" imagery with which I am more familiar, but not a complete hit. So I search, my own psyche, trying to better understand.
I have no idea how this gets to be, "The Troops"...except a faint recollection of other texts, maybe calling this the army, maybe saying the one yang line in that particular position in ways mirrors the presence of a strong fighting force within the populace at large? Or is that false memory?
Flow without, channeled energy within. Soon it will change.
Out
Tue Jan 10 09:54:35 PST 2012
Laundry. Thank god for these small things the keep me connected to the past decade, small threads that remind me all the forward motion I've made, however slow, has not been entirely for naught, that the world goes on. It is my great good fortune to have ended up more or less in the same area, able to shop in the same stores, do laundry in the same place. It goes a long way towards keeping me on an even keel.
Still haven't made the big push to get all my stuff from Signal Hill. Next big development will be the mobile hotspot, which, if it works as advertised, should put the net back at my finger tips, with, hopefully, an attendant increase in my sense of being, well, me, still living my life, still working on the many things found on my to do list.
Number one on the list, of course, is finding work, any work I can get, all the while doing the work I have at hand. Where possible work should be law or at least arguably law related. Having net access in the house again will go a long way towards enabling work, letting me keep current on email and letting me work to leverage my online presence...which, no exaggerating, accounted for nearly half of my billed legal hours last year.
Re-reading "My Voice Will Go With You", out loud, ignoring Rosen's comments, just reading Milton's words. One story, ostensibly about spanking and child rearing, catches my eye as a pain management tool. And any story that includes counting, well, we know Milton's putting someone in the room in trance even if Rosen fails to put two and two together. Doing lots of chanting and a fair amount of trance work. But I also need to do some plain old thought blocking. I simply have to block thoughts about Gabriela. We are done, that part of my life is behind me now, and I need to put my energy into my future. I can't pretend not to be sad, heartsick even. But it does no good to dwell on it, nor even mention it unless in a setting suited to venting and processing. This blog is not that place. If I write of her less, it is not because she is forgotten, only because I have to marshal my strength to move me forward.
Still need to get an I Ching post in today, and have hopes of maybe starting the Foonberg study blog project at the robertlink.org site.
Out
Mon Jan 9 22:17:34 PST 2012
Odd day. In some ways, not odd at all, but that's what's so odd. Made it to court this morning, the 9th Circuit, which is sitting in Pasadena all this week. Also made it to Legal Voices, the choir affiliated with The Los Angeles Lawyers Philharmonic. These events show that life goes on. There is much about my new life that I celebrate. But there are still plenty of tender spots. And I don't really want to write about them here. Bad enough they're in my mind without putting them in yours. Suffice to say, sometimes it is hard being in transition. And tonight sublimating seems like lying. I am sad about the life I lost. I am happy for the life I am building. I am scared and excited and hopeful and wish I could just hide under my bed until it's all over, all at the same time.
I have, of course, indulged in an awful lot of avoidance and escapism to get through the holidays, get to the beginning of this new year. Today felt like the first real work day of the new year. I'm still in such limbo, my stuff here and there, my place not really configured yet for much of anything. Yet I did make it to court this morning, and to my glee club this evening, and there is food to eat and clothes to wear and friends helping keep me on an even keel.
I wonder sometimes if Gabby has any idea just how much she hurt me.
-0-
I Ching tonight is "Fu, Returning". It's binary 1. The notion of returning is easy enough to obtain. The hexagrams are steps on an ever repeating cycle, like inhale and exhale, sunrise and sunset. The previous hexagram represented pure flow, receptiveness, and was entirely bereft of yang. Fu is the return of the light element, the very first molecules of air entering the lungs after they have rested emtpy long enough and the new inhale begins. It's still more empty than not, but it's not entirely empty.
At the hexagram level we have as the private, ingroup, unconscious trigram "Chen", which is thunder, that which arouses, and also the energy of the young male child. For the public, outgroup, conscious trigram we have Chuan again, as we will for the next six days too. One nice thing about this kind of a walk-through the hexagrams is the trigrams automatically line up as eight sets of eight, giving eight days in a row to contemplate a given trigram in the public, outgroup, conscious position while varying the private, ingroup, unconscious trigram. As a structured meditation that is a pretty good system, to imagine keeping the same outer face while noticing the inner faces varying.
An affection from my last stroll through the hexagrams comes back to mind, and I think I will keep it: "Soon it will change".
Out
Sun Jan 8 17:28:03 PST 2012
Working on the long range to do list again. Also finishing up an i ching casting which will result in K'un doubled. And tomorrow I am going to the 9th Circuit, oddly enough, planning to be totally passive and receptive, going there to model and absorb. It's a darned fine harbinger.
Had thought to put the to do list on the blog, but that's probably too personal, so, no. But I can say that I really feel drawn of late to let Foonberg be the topic of my more or less routine blogging. On those days nothing else moves me I can always read some Foonberg until I'm worked up enough for a quick post here.
Looks as though I'll have internet here later this week, which will change things yet again. It's been odd, starting the year without net access where I sleep. A nice change, truly, although I know it's just a break. The criterion of capitalizing on extant skill sets and resources requires that I not be off the grid too much longer. On the contrary, an oh-three call time for morning coffee and social media was a plan when I thought I was settling in in Signal Hill. It's still a pretty good idea for me, and I guess I'm here saying so now because I plan to put that in place in about nine and a half hours.
The hard part for me, of course, is the heat. If it's too much warmer in bed than out I just won't get out of bed. Forget characterizing it for now, just accept it. So I have to try to lay out my morning the night before.
I have it on good authority that wearing the suit w/o a belt will look better than wearing my leather belt with the silver buckle with the suit. I could always say it's from too many trips to X Court in Y county, you know, one of those ones that make you take off your shoes and belt even if you're the Pope...
Wasn't sure how to punctuate that one. A question mark seemed too much, a period too little, the elipses not quite rising enough but the tentativeness or hesitancy of them seemed to offset the not quite right intonation. All of which can _only_ be justified by a truly *Ericksonian* attention to +nuances+ of -pitCH- and ^rhythm^. Now, about those pear shaped tones?
Lots of Tao, inscrutable I Ching (the Shaughnessy which reads more like a bad dream journal from an alien culture)(which is to say it's likely the truest translation one can hope for, but it is opaque beyond mere inscrutability), and a +hefty+ dose of Erickson this weekend.
Since today's hexagram ends on K'un I'm thinking it would be a great time to get back on sync with the I Ching, just for me. Here's a quick review of some of my thinking:
Yin and yang can reasonably be thought of as inhale and exhale. There are arguments for assigning either label to each portion of the breath cycle, but for now let it be as if holding the lungs empty at the end of an exhale is, well, empty, and thus yin. The inhale sees a reduction of yin with an increase of yang, and we'll discuss characterization of this later. For now let this part of the breath cycle remain unnamed. When no more yang can be received the lungs are full and not yet exhaling, call this yang. Now the exhale begins and yang spills out while yin increases and at the end of the exhale, lungs empty and at complete effortless rest, call this yin. Yin and yang represent the unifying universal energy as it first distinguishes, defines, differentiates into this and that. Commonly these principles are cast in better known opposites of good and evil or woman and man or dark and light. Such characterizations miss the point and muddy the conversation. Breath is a better beginning, then, for the seeming opposites of inhale and exhale, of empty lungs and full lungs, are easily and unavoidably so tied to each other as to never point away from their actual unity as breath.
Let a line segment represent yang. Let a broken line segment represent yin. Yin looks like two smaller yangs with a space between them. That is not yin. Yin is the space between, ready to receive, perhaps to unite and take new material still on either end, or perhaps just to fill the middle as it lay. Either way, yin is not broken, and yin certainly isn't weak. Only yin can receive yang.
Because we like to make things harder, since breathing in and breathing out isn't enough, let's look a little more at the breath cycle. Empty lungs, filling lungs, full lungs, emptying lungs. Yin, changing yin, yang, changing yang. That's one way to say it. We can double up the lines to get these four options. Two yang lines, one above the other, call that lungs full. Two yin lines, lungs empty. It's simple binary. Yin is zero, and we have the higher powers on top of the stack. So, double yin, empty lungs, yang line on bottom with yin line above, filling lungs. Two yang lines? Full lungs. Yang line on top of yin line? Emptying lungs, exhale, breathe out, changing yang.
Having attained yin, changing yin, yang, and changing yang, let's take it two to the third, add a new line on top and generate the gua (and, yeah, I probably ought to spell it right and link it to wikipedia, but I'm composing offline and, anyway, would rather not indulge in such side trips at the moment). My treatment of the gua is so far from any lineage or tradition as to almost require me to use a different name, but that too would be a distraction. So the gua it is, eight of them. And now we invoke both gender and status. With the Hofstadters looking over our spiritual shoulders.
- THE GUA: Three lines each, either a broken one or a solid one, gives us a type of base two system, in which three broken lines stacked upon each other can be seen as zero, with three stacked solid lines as seven. We'll work this out in detail as we visit each as a separate entity. For now we look at the set of eight. The traditional readings would see these eight as the Brady Bunch, with Mother, Father, and three children of each sex. But the traditional readings are from an alien culture and read like a bad dream journal. The good news is we have extensive interpretations of those dream journals. The bad news is that those interpretations themselves often read like a confused dream journal from an alien culture. (Breathe, breathe, breathe...)
Dissatisfied as I am, arrogant as any of the self-taught, I see it this way, for now: The triple yin and triple yang are easy enough to place. Borrowing from traditional interpretations but not being bound by them, I think of sets with two yin and one yang as being defined by that which differs, thus being yang. Where the yang line is bottom of three, it is a man-child. Where the yang line is in the middle, it is a man. Where the yang line is on top of two yin, that is an old man. Same for one yin with two yang, woman-child, woman, old woman. This is a key departure from the received texts and puts me probably into an easily marginalized realm of heresy. No matter. It's a better fit for our times.
Now that we have the eight trigrams, the ba gua, we get the hexagrams by doubling trigrams. For example, if I stacked a set of three broken lines on top of another set of three broken lines you'd get K'un...no, wait, I've got the Shaugnessy, and exactly that which makes it unfulfilling is that which makes it the best with which to work, a fragmented dream journal from an alien culture, only you are the alien who wrote it's unearthly symbols, so...Chuan - The Flow
- -
- -
- -
- -
- -
- -I'm a little stymied. I could, in fact, copy the main line of the Shaugnessy each of the next 64 days. I think I could make the fair use claim. And the truth is, I am trying to study this stuff, soak it up, drink it in, the better to share it with others and use it for myself. But it's so unique that I won't be happy until I get my Chinese friends to review Shaugnessy. 'Til then, well, I guess I'll let it go with Shaugnessy's titles and then riff on my own thinking.
This is zero, the beginning, ultimate emptiness (which many find quite frightening, emptiness, potential, unknown), receptive. At least that's what most of my reading has lead me to believe. Now I read it should be "The Flow". That's what comes of poking one's nose into mystic dream journals from alien cultures. I'll just take this as an opportunity to go meta.
One way to look at an I Ching hexagram is to see it as comprised of two trigrams. This allows us to play with the notion of varying eight known entities, themselves variations on the four phases of yin, filling yin, yang, and emptying yang, in turn resting gently on the simple basic distinction between this and that, inhale and exhale. In this example we have a single trigram repeated. One way to think of this is that the top trigram represents a public face, the conscious mind, that which interacts with others overtly, with the bottom trigram then representing private thoughts, the protective unconscious, that which interacts with others covertly or not at all. Or, it could be that the top trigram is outgroup and the bottom is ingroup. Or maybe some intersection of public/outgroup|private/ingroup, which, put that way, begins to look a little redundant. Looking at Chuan - The Flow this way we have a congruence of the public with the private, the ingroup face with the outgroup face, and all can be summed up as surfing the tao or going with the flow or being receptive of all that comes one's way. This hexagram is one of two straightforward answers to any question one might ask of the oracle, this answer is the clear "no". Six solid lines we have a clear yes. Taking into account the phenomenon of changing lines, which brings the experience of filling the lungs and emptying them to the level of each of the six lines of the trigram and arguably converts the options from 2 to the 6th into 4 to the 6th, that's a pretty small percentage of answers which are clear. The rest are shades of maybe, which is why elsewhere I've written of the I Ching as "The 4k Maybe". I might still use that for a title.
Some of this is re-write, which bugs a bit, but I'm not sure where the other stuff is and I think I've got a better system now so I'll just do this one again. Besides, the material is timeless and Confucious himself said he wished he'd spent more time with it. I have that time, for now.
Not sure what that means about my Foonberg Study blog, nor even the rest of the to do list. For now it's get ready for bed. Big week starting next week, and planning to be up early to work on my social media. Might even head to Denny's for early log on. And, yes, Virginia, I think I'll be endeavoring to sleep from seven to three most nights this week, because I can. (Except tomorrow night, 'cause of glee club.
Out
Sun Jan 8 12:05:15 PST 2012
A little music from the house next door. Except it's January 8, hardly Summer here on the West Coast. Yet here I sit, blogging on the patio, a neighbor's music barely in my right ear, my own from in the house mostly in my left, neither reaching strongly enough to compete with the other, especially not when I am engaged in the keyboard.
Had a nice txt exchange with GP earlier this morning ("one-nuthin'!") which heartens me. I know relations must in some ways normalize someday, but right now it surprises me each and every time how much it hurts, to talk to her, to not talk to her, to have her be nice, to have her not be nice, all of it. I think some part of her just doesn't get (and, yes, I know it's not nice to talk in the third person when I'm reasonably certain she'll see this post eventually) that having thrown me away two seasons in a row I have some rather mixed and in some cases not entirely resolved feelings about her. Sure, the second best decorative element in my home is that damnable koi painting, second only to Grandma Link's stained glass. But that is probably as much a statement about the processing I'm doing as it is a sign of how well I'm taking things.
I'm taking things as well as I know how, given what I'm given. Without going into details, I am given much more than I would ever have had the nerve to request, and so I really don't want to complain, especially if the complaints of really of the nature of adjusting to a new reality than of the nature of things that can in themselves be righted.
Amphigory. "Only public knowledge" really does put a damper on the self-expression. Say less, with more words.
Or not. Think I'll go read a little more "My Voice Will Go With You". I need Milton right about now probably more than I need Foonberg.
Out
Sat Jan 7 14:44:21 PST 2012
1969's "Ummagumma" by Pink Floyd is getting its first run at my ears, while I peruse some docs on implications of bankruptcy in family law. Sunny but cool here today, and it's actually a pretty nice day and I'm fine letting it go at that.
Out
Fri Jan 6 21:09:19 PST 2012
John and the lads, not Smokey, and me when I think I can't make it sound bad.
Mithrandir and Nimue? Galadriel and Merlin? Parsed as Disney-Attorney-Dollars-Net? (Notice how quick the rat jumped to get back the Burroughs it let slip away.)(And, yes, Hermione is not in this post because it will always feel just wrong on so many wonderful levels.)
The Rev. Al Green is signalling to me the end of this playlist and I think that's adequate. I've actually got an early call time. Sweet dreams, world.
Out
Thu Jan 5 06:58:30 PST 2012
Well, that sucks. I thought I posted and uploaded yesterday from *$, but apparently not. Worse, save for that one omission it was one of my most productive days in weeks. Oh well. Here I am, getting the daily blog post in. Stunning sunrise this morning on the way to the office to help ftuff envelopes. As I parked I thought:
I need less distraction,
more traction
less slip, more gripExcept of course where that's not the case.
Out
Tue Jan 3 21:12:44 PST 2012
At this point I think blogging has become an adl for me. Business stuff may go on hold for the holiday, but blogging continues, even if off line.
Hoping to get on a more reliable net soon, meanwhile, I blog daily, even if I only upload a couple time a week. It's the best I've got. And at least it's writing.
But although I got up early, and although I had a generally productive and encouraging day, I am now up too late for my planned tomorrow, and thus am cutting out with this short note. Tomorrow looks to be a substantively more productive day.
Out
Mon Jan 2 18:33:12 PST 2012
Yeah, this really is a fainthearted effort. Dragged myself out of an early bed so I'd at least have kept this promise to myself. I've been avoiding making such promises because my situation has been in such amazing flux. Now it's 2012 (and someone needs to give the Mayans a new DayTimer(tm)) and I am ready to move on. It is time. There is a bright future waiting for me to step through to it.
Last night as I fell asleep I found myself thinking of Gabriela and her touching emotional response to "Feed the Birds" in "Mary Poppins".
"Silence in the studio!", says the voice on the speakers, from Pink Floyd's "Atom Heart Mother". I really do dig this piece of work. Good pick to follow "Rubber Soul" as my sleepy-time discs for the night. Been an exciting day...and I realize I don't really need to share any of the best of it. Suffice to say I'm looking forward to getting my own DayTimer(tm) in order tomorrow, as well as my larger todo list for the year and generally get the heck back on track from this crazy end to 2011.
Out
Sun Jan 1 22:52:18 PST 2012
Feels a little like bending the rules: I'm blogging, but won't be able to upload until the 2nd, maybe even the 3rd. Long story and not really of interest to anyone not already more or less involved and in the know. Which sounds evasive, I understand, but is the best I can do at the moment.
I've always said the 6th was more or less my cut off point for Gabby. If I don't have a case number by then I'll probably have to just file a fee waiver (which the court will eventually get from GP anyway) and then...yeah, still try for the disso first. It's really in everyone's best interest to get this over and done with. So I really do want to do my part.
Today's Te-Tao reading included one of my absolute favorite lines, "Be sharp but do not stab". I've always felt that applied with special force to me. I mean and hope to avoid states of being in which my energy spikes and crashes with no connection to any observable cycle, at least so far as civilians and non-intimates can see. Last night was hard, but it was meant to be. I am trying to neither avoid nor seek, I am trying not to be too attached to the pursuit of non-attachmnet.
Which, again, sounds like evasive crap. I get how that used to bother some folks. I mean, yeah, it's fluff. It's meant for the moment. It only works in context of that then those thems there. And anyway, it's not like it's news that I like to play with words. Or with people's minds. I don't stipulate a distinction, as I never saw a word without a mind, nor vice versa.
Perhaps that's enough for the night? I am sleepy, and tomorrow will be an odd day, personally and energetically. The Rose Parade apparently has as one of its by-laws a clause precluding holding the parade on a Sunday. No doubt this is a carryover from Pasadena's "soundownder town" days. Be that as it may, up here its as if February 29 has already come, extending New Years Eve and Day into a three day event.
I hope these posts become, well, better writing. I think there is a new stability in my life that will allow this to properly open up a channel to my unconscious that will serve to make me a better lawyer and a better person. That's the goal. No point in bothering otherwise. God knows there's enough words out there in the world already. It's still very odd to me, the set of constraints I have placed on myself, the opposing objectives of total candid transparency and truth demanded of all worthwhile writing, and the total committment to "do no harm" with which I was saddled as early back as I can remember.
Oh, and while I'm thinking about it, here's something I couldn't have done even a week ago:
Georgie Porgie, puddin' 'n' pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
Georgie Porgie ran awayMrs. Squire, where ever you may be, I can forgive you, after all this time, and am sorry I hit on you so hard. I was only in the first grade and really didn't know any better. Still not entirely sure where I modeled that in the first place, but it sure seems to go back pretty far.
No matter. The point being that some aspects of this journey have been pretty damned hard of late, while others have been awe inspiring, and I can say and do and think things I simply hadn't allowed myself for longer than I can remember. I endeavor to perservere despite adversity. I know so dearly how impossibly this would all be without the help of those who have rallied around me. I am lucky. I am grateful. And I endeavor to make myself a vessel for wisdom.
Out
Sat Dec 31 07:36:34 PST 2011
Last day of 2011, but it's 2010 that's most on my mind. I said for the first part of '11 that '10 was my best year ever: Took the bar a third time and passed, got an inscribed book from Jon Winokur hours before learning I had passed, got legally married to GP after years of legally required waiting. Best year of the first 46. I should leave it at that.
Out
Fri Dec 30 19:57:28 PST 2011
Stream of consciousness? Here? Now? Not hardly! But I feel the letter and spirit of this space too strongly to let me cop out with so little. I am in fact tired, but also wishing to use some of _your_ words here, in this space, so write me, txt me, email me, get a couple of old oatmeal thingies and some string. Your presence is requested. You know whom you are.
While I'm on the topic of distant love, Shams 93, June 14, Long Beach. It's on facebook, look for Shams 93 or Sander Wolff.
Out (rev 20111230:20:04)
Thu Dec 29 20:28:10 PST 2011
"The Long Day is Over"
Not really, 'though. Nora couldn't have known about my clothes in the dryer.
I'm reaccessing my Shaw. My Heinlein. Nothing so formal as an inner circle of the mind, just a couple of sharp examples I could do worse than to follow.
I am trying to be genuine. But I am no less vulnerable to phenomena like imposter syndrome as any other and I never pretended otherwise.
Switching to XP on the good speakers, which are also the good monitor, which means, yes, I get some milkdrop tonight. Man's gotta do what...wait, no, don't go there, I didn't mean to write anything anyone could experience transferrence with. Except everything I write 'cause that's the point of writing.
Fluff, probably, but it works for me, it's words in a row, and it's well on the right side of blood-letting and non-consensual couplings.
Yeah, probably not "Twighlight Safe", which ought to be registered trademark for exactly that treacly sweet spot between, well, under-age erotica and, well, under-age erotica. I've avoided sending a manuscript to publishers for moren'a decade for exactly that reason. I in fact tried to make it as steamy as possible, 'cause, dammit, those parts in fact were steamy. Just like the koi fish are cool and Oscar rides with me more than I with he.
I do not mean to be aggressive, but, well, we all know what I'm like when I think someone is hurting my wife, and I think GP is in fact making bad things worse and to a point long long since being something reasonable people can overlook. So whether it is a summary disso or a "full divorce", whether she pays a lot or a little, I really can't care, and if I do that's my problem, not anyone else's. I didn't want any kind of divorce until she quit coming to therapy.
And again, then, with that "public knowledge/private knowledge" line. Is it really true that once you've blabbed it to your wife in your sleep it can't be excluded the same for 4th Amendment grounds? Can't quite put my finger on what I'm thinking. I think Heinlein showed us what he thought of writers, so we know where I get some of my eccentricities from. But by virtue of having Heinlein behind me I have no dread of dear la Luna, she remains as she ever was but we have conquered our fears of her pull on our bodies, on our minds.
Out
Thu Dec 29 19:35:06 PST 2011
"LEAVE NOW"? Nah, but, well, submodal subtextual sublimations and other distractors:
My prayer is to perfect my love poems
so the only writing
I need do
is that which pays
and that which pleases You.Devotionals.
Out (rev 20111229:19:40)
Thu Dec 29 19:05:20 PST 2011
Alan's Psychedelic Breakfast" (a sample of which I've used as an alarm for a while now) is in fact, "Breakfast in Los Angeles", according to the voice on teh track before the eating and drinking noises start. That makes it, "Breakfast in America", but in 1970, by Floyd instead of Supertramp.
Out
Thu Dec 29 15:13:17 PST 2011
Well, getting here a little earlier than yesterday. GP and I continue to fail to find harmony, and her latest note (and, if this is one of the posts you read, GP, apologies for talking about you as if you weren't here) says yesterday's exchange caused her to reconsdier going with a summary disso. I balked yesterday at learning she had already put up $2.5k to get this divorce going, when there really wasn't any need to pay anything except court costs. Now she's trying to make it my fault that we're doing it the costly way? Feh. The only reason we're divorcing at all is she threw me on the dust heap twice in six months. The only reason we spend a penny more than necessary is because she can't keep her temper.
For my part, I probably shouldn't post on any day about any communication received from GP that same day. Having got this far, I'll just sign off here and see if I can't find something productive to do with my time besides droning on about stupid stuff.
Out
Wed Dec 28 23:45:29 PST 2011
Someone remind me to do this earlier tomorrow. I'm freakin' beat right now. Great talk with SH tonight, and a not entirely unproductive day. Still having trouble getting communications with GP. She called to tell me about an email she sent. I know she doesn't mean to be cruel (and I know you read here some times) but I don't think she always puts much thought into how it affects me to speak with her. I hope she has a nice trip, but I didn't really need to be in a position to wonder who "we" is, and, honestly kind of wish she's just sent the email and given it 36 hours for me to reply.
Probably I could say that better. But I gotta be up in the morning and it's late right now so I'll have to let it stand as written for now.
Out
Tue Dec 27 19:03:07 PST 2011
Couldn't tell the sweet young thing they'd given to much shelf to M. Night and not enough to Zeck. Seriously, "The Last Airbender" v "Sucker-Punch"? Hand's effin' down.
Told a friend with a teen that I endeavor to make this blog friend-with-a-teen safe. Or visibly armed and dangerous. He'd be down with that at least so long as I was plausibly in compliance with Federal and State statute.
Hope everyone got a good view of la Luna (and happy to recieve supportive criticism about other ways to refer to one thought harsh by some but beloved of me)(and mine). Moorcock?
Distracted, but feeling like I really ought to complete the movie, give its due for having started it tonight. It's not "Lawrence of Arabia", but neither is it a broadcast w/ laughtrack sitcom. Some of the color choices are downright "Mars Attacks", and I mean that as a compliment. (I'm thinking specifically of the "Code Name: 'Kitchen Knife'" segment's bomb controls.)
Look, it's not really like I'm that much of a misanthrope that I just gratuitously want to see people die. I'm just saying that if you lead hearts, play hearts. Lead diamonds, play diamonds. Right? Most folks in Hollywood start a movie like this, they cheat out some kind of happy ending. No such easy out here. And the jerk-off "but, wait!" of the wobbly top in "Inception"? Nothing, not a gosh-darned thing compared with the opening and closing of this hypersonic stratospheric merry-go-round of a film.
Getting a little table-tipping phenom. Not one I'd ever really thought about. I guess it's the same, generally, as Ouija. It's really just that I'm working on an ironing board, sitting horse stance 'cause the stretch feels good.
Uh, was the David Lean gratuitious? Or just one smart dude acknowleding those who came before him?
Out
Mon Dec 26 19:52:10 PST 2011
"I'm so tired, but I can't sleep."
Nothin' so deep for me as for Sarah, just that I realized if I didn't do laundry before bed I wouldn't have any work shirts. For that reflex I thank my years with GP. Since I have to do laundry, I might as well stick around here, work on this and that, multi-task (but careful with the knees, eh?)
Somehow that song, "I Will Remember You" got picked up for Columbine, right? So while I'm grooving on it in my own context, for others it's, well, icky at best. But I knew it pre-420 (?) as "from the Brothers McMullen Soundtrack!" I suppose I feel attached to Sarah's oeuvre second only to Heinlein's, because hers is the one I have the most exposure to as a body rather than in time really with the larger culture. I'm not putting that well. Somehow I caught the Heinlein wave at a time to let me really appreciate his body of work as a body of work, as a soul in motion, very much like the long pink worms Heinlein himself wrote of in "Life Line". Somehow I caught Sarah McLachlan on a similar wave, and while I know I will not see the end of her days before mine, I think of her in larger terms. Bowie too.
"Feels just like I'm sinking, and I claw for solid ground."
Full of grace, a goal more than something I can pretend to always be.
Out
Mon Dec 26 18:48:46 PST 2011
My day started with a nice bit of shutterbugging at my Muse's suggestion, a goldenpinkcloudfluff outside my window where before I had thought, "Thick marine layer." Appreciating how much there is to be learned by recognizing and correcting my errors, I hied outside to take as many pictures as my little cameraphone battery was up for, about 190, plus a voice recording. Now I see how close I came going to bed without blogging and I'm a tad upset. Well, not upset, but un-"going-to-bed"-ed. Instead I think I'll keep on the social media wave, maybe take another stab at getting thunderbird working. I read on a search that it's a "do you or don't you put the @domain.top after the username" inconsistency with the GUI. I haven't managed it so far, neither has anyone I would expect to be in the demographic.
I'm wondering, while I'm here thinking more or less out loud, if that "won't use it in nuclear plants" bit from the old java tos was like the apocryphal van Halen "no brown M&Ms" clause. I wonder if they (the other members of that 2009 BHBA teleconference) thought I was bullshitting them? I wonder if I could prove that I read what I recall? I wonder if I really should put a question mark at the end of a sentence beginning with, "I wonder..."
"Breakfast in America" on the mac. Can't get sound out of arwen, quite annoyed. Head has not really be in the right space for anything tremendously technical. Next week should be better than last, however, and that should be true for many weeks to come. So, welcome the return of a crescent of light on la Luna tonight, flow with the flow, ebb with the ebb, wax and wane as need be, all the while cling to the whole.
Out
Sun Dec 25 22:17:41 PST 2011
sing a song of secrets
never kept before
tell me now of hiding
where once all was shown and known
where once i said to bleach bones
with sunshine on the porch
now i grapple devils
my thoughts
and curb them, leash them, bind them, cage them
and all the words that spill alongI do not lay up treasures on Earth
I do not lay up treasures in Heaven
I do not lay up treasures, but pray they
Instead are spread far and wideOne, Two, Three, Four
FiveSixSevenEight
nineteneleven
the therapist asked my number
I unthinkingly replied, "one"
but didn't notice the shift until too lateTue Dec 27 19:03:07 PST 2011
Couldn't tell the sweet young thing they'd given to much shelf to M. Night and not enough to Zeck. Seriously, "The Last Airbender" v "Sucker-Punch"? Hand's effin' down.
Told a friend with a teen that I endeavor to make this blog friend-with-a-teen safe. Or visibly armed and dangerous. He'd be down with that at least so long as I was plausibly in compliance with Federal and State statute.
Hope everyone got a good view of la Luna (and happy to recieve supportive criticism about other ways to refer to one thought harsh by some but beloved of me)(and mine). Moorcock?
Distracted, but feeling like I really ought to complete the movie, give its due for having started it tonight. It's not "Lawrence of Arabia", but neither is it a broadcast w/ laughtrack sitcom. Some of the color choices are downright "Mars Attacks", and I mean that as a compliment. (I'm thinking specifically of the "Code Name: 'Kitchen Knife'" segment's bomb controls.)
Look, it's not really like I'm that much of a misanthrope that I just gratuitously want to see people die. I'm just saying that if you lead hearts, play hearts. Lead diamonds, play diamonds. Right? Most folks in Hollywood start a movie like this, they cheat out some kind of happy ending. No such easy out here. And the jerk-off "but, wait!" of the wobbly top in "Inception"? Nothing, not a gosh-darned thing compared with the opening and closing of this hypersonic stratospheric merry-go-round of a film.
Getting a little table-tipping phenom. Not one I'd ever really thought about. I guess it's the same, generally, as Ouija. It's really just that I'm working on an ironing board, sitting horse stance 'cause the stretch feels good.
Uh, was the David Lean gratuitious? Or just one smart dude acknowleding those who came before him?
Out
Mon Dec 26 19:52:10 PST 2011
"I'm so tired, but I can't sleep."
Nothin' so deep for me as for Sarah, just that I realized if I didn't do laundry before bed I wouldn't have any work shirts. For that reflex I thank my years with GP. Since I have to do laundry, I might as well stick around here, work on this and that, multi-task (but careful with the knees, eh?)
Somehow that song, "I Will Remember You" got picked up for Columbine, right? So while I'm grooving on it in my own context, for others it's, well, icky at best. But I knew it pre-420 (?) as "from the Brothers McMullen Soundtrack!" I suppose I feel attached to Sarah's oeuvre second only to Heinlein's, because hers is the one I have the most exposure to as a body rather than in time really with the larger culture. I'm not putting that well. Somehow I caught the Heinlein wave at a time to let me really appreciate his body of work as a body of work, as a soul in motion, very much like the long pink worms Heinlein himself wrote of in "Life Line". Somehow I caught Sarah McLachlan on a similar wave, and while I know I will not see the end of her days before mine, I think of her in larger terms. Bowie too.
"Feels just like I'm sinking, and I claw for solid ground."
Full of grace, a goal more than something I can pretend to always be.
Out
Mon Dec 26 18:48:46 PST 2011
My day started with a nice bit of shutterbugging at my Muse's suggestion, a goldenpinkcloudfluff outside my window where before I had thought, "Thick marine layer." Appreciating how much there is to be learned by recognizing and correcting my errors, I hied outside to take as many pictures as my little cameraphone battery was up for, about 190, plus a voice recording. Now I see how close I came going to bed without blogging and I'm a tad upset. Well, not upset, but un-"going-to-bed"-ed. Instead I think I'll keep on the social media wave, maybe take another stab at getting thunderbird working. I read on a search that it's a "do you or don't you put the @domain.top after the username" inconsistency with the GUI. I haven't managed it so far, neither has anyone I would expect to be in the demographic.
I'm wondering, while I'm here thinking more or less out loud, if that "won't use it in nuclear plants" bit from the old java tos was like the apocryphal van Halen "no brown M&Ms" clause. I wonder if they (the other members of that 2009 BHBA teleconference) thought I was bullshitting them? I wonder if I could prove that I read what I recall? I wonder if I really should put a question mark at the end of a sentence beginning with, "I wonder..."
"Breakfast in America" on the mac. Can't get sound out of arwen, quite annoyed. Head has not really be in the right space for anything tremendously technical. Next week should be better than last, however, and that should be true for many weeks to come. So, welcome the return of a crescent of light on la Luna tonight, flow with the flow, ebb with the ebb, wax and wane as need be, all the while cling to the whole.
Out
Sun Dec 25 22:17:41 PST 2011
sing a song of secrets
never kept before
tell me now of hiding
where once all was shown and known
where once i said to bleach bones
with sunshine on the porch
now i grapple devils
my thoughts
and curb them, leash them, bind them, cage them
and all the words that spill alongI do not lay up treasures on Earth
I do not lay up treasures in Heaven
I do not lay up treasures, but pray they
Instead are spread far and wideOne, Two, Three, Four
FiveSixSevenEight
nineteneleven
the therapist asked my number
I unthinkingly replied, "one"
but didn't notice the shift until too lateOut
Sun Dec 25 10:22:13 PST 2011
I have a recurring dream: The bomb is falling, Gabby and I are in different parts of town, and I spend my final seconds telling her I love as best I can, praying she can hear me across space and time, praying she is loved and comforted, praying the transition is easy. Not worried about my own death, if anything, happy to have had the warning so I can use the time well...trying to reach her on the psychic hotline so that she knows in her deepest soul that I love her.
So, sure, of course I had that fucking dream last night. Merry fucking christmas.
Have had a _great_ morning with the folks, and despite the howling pain in my heart I'm ok. Doing what I need to do to get through. Trying to channel all my helpers, trying to start with accessing resources, in myself if naught else. Shower time. Maybe a load of whites first. But done with this post for now.
Out
Sun Dec 25 00:03:13 PST 2011
Really just came down here to close up, but might as well say, "Merry Christmas" while I'm here. It's not the easiest holiday I've ever had, but I'm still here and doing my best to keep moving forward. Have been quite enjoying a lengthy chat with SH, but now it's time for bed. And in the morning? I've got a box from the great frozen North...a box of chess books, to be exact. Looking forward to getting into them.
I'm going to say it: I'm sorry if our being apart makes the holidays harder for GP. I wouldn't want that. I want her to be happy and healthy, and despite what she may think about her prospects, I hope she finds love, finds a partner who really does click for her.
And I want the same things for me. That starts with getting myself back on my own two feet, and really pushing in 2012.
35 minute 5k this afternoon. The real test, of course, is what I can get to Monday. Still trying to at least make the Pasadena 1/2 Marathon in February. Felt really good to run today, that's the truth.
Bed time. Merry Christmas, world.
Out
Sat Dec 24 19:23:28 PST 2011
Anyone under the age of consent in any jurisdiction to which they might ever be hypothetically or otherwise subject, LEAVE NOW.
Reading further is a volitional act of consent. If you did not intend to give that consent as currently received, LEAVE NOW.
Still here? Seriously, what's it take these days? L E A V E N O W unless you _really_ just want to see what's next...
...
Kindof waiting to see myself what's next. It sure looks like I'll be moving to Sierra Madre, just down hill from my favorite Val. That's not meant to be cryptic, 'cause really, it isn't, and I know where and with whom this is nothing but public knowledge.
It's actually a really fucking high hurdle to reach, especially in my line of work. I'm supposed to never say anything that isn't already in the public sphere, and if saying something that is in the public sphere would in some way prejudice the interests of a past, present, or current client, then I must not so say, regardless my 1st Amendment rights. That's part of the deal: Join the club, with abridged rights. I happen to honest-to-Gandhi believe it's a good deal, as it helps offset, however much, the tendency towards the venal in our profession. I'm still amazed that we need a rule saying, "You can't demand sex in exchange for representation", in clear violation of the right of peaceful assembly. I know, it's not in vogue to notice the political nature of all sexual congress (wince) but I assure you it is there. Hence, an adequate start on an argument supporting any consensual sex (at least in a system that presumes under age cannot consent, rendering "consenting minor" an oxymoron).
Anyway, trying to port some tunes from one hd to the other. "Dark Side..." was perfect for this X-mas eve New Moon, wherever my Queen might be on such a night.
Out
Sat Dec 24 18:41:34 PST 2011
Anyone under the age of consent in any jurisdiction to which they might ever be hypothetically or otherwise subject, LEAVE NOW.
Reading further is a volitional act of consent. If you did not intend to give that consent as currently received, LEAVE NOW.
Still here? Seriously, what's it take these days? Tyre gets away with a simple "Nothing to see here". But I never claimed to really belong in that pool.
Balanced on the biggest wave, race toward an early grave.
Prolly oughtta mark that out with some kind of reveal codes magic (we call it html, here'bouts) but I'm too lazy. Those with sufficient intelligence or imagination will know that my musical selection is driven by the approaching new moon, at 22:06 my time. Not that I'm confusing tonight's newly darkened moon with the side that is never lit, just sayin' I'm definitely more aware now of sweet la Luna as a muse and mediator than ever before, woman, goddess, Queen.
Out
Sat Dec 24 08:14:41 PST 2011
New Moon (no, it's not a "Twilight" novel) at 22:06 today. For now I'm finding the added structure of watching the la Luna's phases helps give me just a little more structure and guidance during this season of upheaval. I could log into nethack and get a warning to be careful due to the new moon's influence, but that doesn't really purport to be anything other than a reminder of how the game itself is keyed to lunar tables. If one only plays nethack three days a month it should be the three during which the moon is regarded by the game as full.
In a similar vein, I've really taken a shining to this system with my new white board. It is strangely comforting to erase prior days, to fill coming days, to see today as poised between the three days before with their lists and crossed out items, to see the next three days, perhaps all empty, perhaps partly filled. It's been wonderfully grounding, not entirely unlike my practice with my beads, but better suited to that amount of monkey mind required to get along in day-to-day life, and let's not pretend one can survive modern times without a fair amount of monkey mind on tap. The trick is to invoke and dismiss it conditionally, provisionally, with specific intent and purpose. No mind or zen mind or that mindfulness which simply observes the rise and fall of various other states of mind or thought, that/these are the aimed for default mind. A leaf in the wind, a dew drop on a leaf, snow slipping from the bamboo leaf when the leaf mindlessly bends under the weight of that same snow, these are perhaps less human, less ego driven, less self-directed visualizations, but they represent a certain acceptance of the realities of the day and, perhaps not accomodation to those realities, but a working with them rather than opposing them.
I made an Oblio's card just before things went South, reading, "Make it Matter". Turns out that's the current advertising slogan for BIOLA. I've seen their billboard a couple of times and smiled. Wonder how they'd feel if they knew they were sharing with the likes of me.
Out
Sat Dec 24 07:58:26 PST 2011
Don't want to project my emotions on to others, nor even particularly do I want to elicit in others similar states, not even inadvertently. So let's talk about the sunny skies, the view from Mum's & Shawn's balcony, a belief that things will get better. It continues to be a rough holiday, and I'm not sure what is on my agenda for today.
I'm thinking a lot about the Dean Moriarty/Neal Cassaday thing, how Kerouac got famous largely, well, at least partly, from the letters of another presented as his own fiction. If Neal hadn't been cool with it, there probably couldn't have been an "On the Road". On the other hand, I didn't much like "On the Road", writing in an early Oblio's Cap card, "I should have left 'On the Road' on the road." Neal is the patron saint of the Kerouac hipsters and the Keysey pranksters, but in the end, well, I don't know that I would have much liked him. The first letter I pulled randomly from the book I received starts with him saying he struck a woman, LuAnn, probably his paramour, in the forhead, breaking his thumb. First, what kind of idiot breaks his thumb hitting anyone or anything? Rookie mistake and not at all consistent with the godlike grace and physicality attributed to NC. Second, what kind of asshole hits a woman, unless she has hit him first and/or displayed a serious and credible threat of some form?
So, while I would love to manifeset any of the grace or style or charisma or whatever other "it" NC had, I have some pretty strong barriers up on that particular role model. He may have got laid a lot more than me, but I never pretended to be that guy.
I continue to struggle with the medium, with the public/private line. It would be easy to do as JK did, simply tell other people's stories as they criss-cross my own. But there are plenty of folks who might not appreciate that, and I suppose that's another reason I lost the writing bug generally and never had the confidence to really dive deep into fiction: The folks whose lives I would rip off will not likely appreciate the attention.
Besides, drafting comlaints is more lucrative, by and large.
Out
Fri Dec 23 22:56:42 PST 2011
I'm going to try to get to this earlier tomorrow and henceforth. I hate having to delay going to bed just because I've set this as my practice. Not sure what the parameters of "blog every day" are. I'm pretty sure it's more than putting up some lorem ipsum just to fulfill the letter of the parameters, whatever they are. So I'm playing Norah Jones's 2002 super-album, "Come Away With Me". It's got to be as good for programming the protective unconscious as anything else on my hard drive.
Creeps me out a bit, talking about my hard drive. I don't feel I have as good a control over my filing in general as I'd like, and it's probably not even a good idea to have said so, so here's a mid-sentence, on the fly correction and amendment, I want my files to be better. Who can't say that in all honesty?
Tired. Beer straight to my head, which, of course, is the plan. Sleepy time soon. Big day, truly, but still trying to walk that line between public and private and pretty much all of today is private more than less, so not much to say about today. There's a line like that in the Steve Zissou movie, "What's she write?" "Oh, nothing to speak of." I love that scene.
And, of course, there's lots of stuff about GP that I continue to avoid. I'm doing pretty well and most folks would mistake me for a functioning human being and never notice the gaping chest wound where my heart once was. I don't know how to make any of it better other than to end this paragraph.
I am lost, confused, beaten to a pulp, ready to be made into paper, something to write on. I pray it be love. I pray it be enlightenenlivenempower for each and all. And I dare not simply write, type, let the words come unbidden and unbound spilling free from fingertips too long silenced and deafening. "Was it just the season."
Hmm. It's a Fall song. But this is Winter. "It was just the season." Slide guitar? Who? Why don't I already know?
I'm still on about what I can and can't reasonably untype, when, how, why. Used to be I just did my little induction and let my fingers fucking type. Wasn't trying to be nothing for nobody then. Now I'm trying to be the guy I potentially was all that time. And no one is, so it's already off to a complicated start. I'm in an almost entirely deserted corner of the soon to be un-web (google "sopa" and "eff") yet still responsible for publishing publicly. Anyone who ever read the definition of defamation has reason to be a little jumpy about any and all on line activity. Hell, at some point one's failure to appear in the right IP log will be tantamount to a bogus BBB report.
"Turn me on!" That's Norah, just before "Lonestar". See, this gal was so good I ignored the whole Texas thing. To this day I think this album is the best thing I've heard since the first time I spun "Tapestry" as a child.
But it's getting chilly out here and, besides, it's not nice to the neighbors to be puttering about in the garage with creepy lights into the wee hours. Off to those sleepy clouds of ones preferred color, my preference remaining mine for the nonce.
Thu Dec 22 18:26:24 PST 2011
It's probably a good thing that one or two select folks check daily to make sure I'm still up-and-at-em. I'm here. I'm happier the days I can get my social media in early, but better late than never.
It's hard adjusting to the reality of all this, the enormity of it all. Considering my resources and station I've fairly ambition objectives.
Bowfinger: Imagine a world without likeness rights. Why should I own my face? It's just meat, right? "It's like they can SMELL fifty".
Two grand. $2,184. In cash that's what every movie takes to make. "Where do I go to be an actress?"
It's a silly movie but one very easily projected onto. He even has the prayer beads. Pity I can't do the ponytail.
Need to get a printer set up so I can get my malpractice insurance squared away. And need to spend a little bit of time taking another stab with Thunderbird. I totally failed to get info (at) networking-liberally (dot) com set up on Icedove, but I thought I'd try donwloading and manually installing the real deal.
Out
Wed Dec 21 22:46:40 PST 2011
Part of me really digs this. Part of me is screaming "narcissus much?" It's, uh, a little ambivalent to me. And I really didn't need any more ambivalent. The one that got me a little wigged out was "Accessing Resources". I think it should come before "Boundaries". And I'm not sure why it bugs me to say so, but it does.
Uh, yeah, I really am at the moment thinking my best bet, in lieu of having the intended launch, is to stay on task trying to sleuth it out until either the launch email is off or I see first light of morn. Trying not to disturb my roomates or the neighbors. Readers? Well, you knew it was a dangerous job when you pointed your browser to Oblio's Cap. I might just put all these scripts inline and then point to them. Actually, I'm pretty sure they're already available by way of http directory access, but I seem to have misremembered the path to it just now.
I'm really ambivalent too about my general online footprint. Man, I'd like to have all my shit in the same place. I just wish there were a way to get the goodies I get with dreamhost while staying here with Michal at Cornerhost. I'm just not sure I've been a good enough client/guest.
Truth is, I didn't quite just squelch at self-deprecatory remark so much as notice a space where normally I would have provided some such if only to fill the time. What a terrible thing to notice about oneself. "Wisdom is born of compassion." Yeesh. What the heck was I thinking. I tell ya, that don't sound like the life I remember when I was making these tracks. 'Course, I wasn't a lawyer then. I just acted like one too much for my own good. (Not sure that part's changed yet, but I'm pretty sure I'll get my bar fees paid on time.)
Out
Wed Dec 21 22:24:17 PST 2011
The haters will point out that this trouble with icedove argues in favor of the folks who just use Outlook like the borg intended. On the other hand, doing things my way I've got some great tracks to listen to, and I've been able to blog and email.
Sometimes I wonder if maybe these things are worth more than I ever considered. I assumed anyone could take my method and create as good or better, especially considering the level of the production values. Don't get me wrong, Steve's work on the music absolutely rocked, rocks, and all other tenses of rock my world. But the conditions were primitive. Somewhere I've got an email saying it's all more or less copylefted. I feel like if I put 'em up with a tip jar that I'd have to give him half, and, of course, Pop the other half. Or would it be half to Steve, Half to me, of my half, half to Pop, half to me?
"Some tasks are best left to dreams and hunches." --Boundaries
Out
Wed Dec 21 21:59:26 PST 2011
Fri Dec 23 22:56:42 PST 2011
I'm going to try to get to this earlier tomorrow and henceforth. I hate having to delay going to bed just because I've set this as my practice. Not sure what the parameters of "blog every day" are. I'm pretty sure it's more than putting up some lorem ipsum just to fulfill the letter of the parameters, whatever they are. So I'm playing Norah Jones's 2002 super-album, "Come Away With Me". It's got to be as good for programming the protective unconscious as anything else on my hard drive.
Creeps me out a bit, talking about my hard drive. I don't feel I have as good a control over my filing in general as I'd like, and it's probably not even a good idea to have said so, so here's a mid-sentence, on the fly correction and amendment, I want my files to be better. Who can't say that in all honesty?
Tired. Beer straight to my head, which, of course, is the plan. Sleepy time soon. Big day, truly, but still trying to walk that line between public and private and pretty much all of today is private more than less, so not much to say about today. There's a line like that in the Steve Zissou movie, "What's she write?" "Oh, nothing to speak of." I love that scene.
And, of course, there's lots of stuff about GP that I continue to avoid. I'm doing pretty well and most folks would mistake me for a functioning human being and never notice the gaping chest wound where my heart once was. I don't know how to make any of it better other than to end this paragraph.
I am lost, confused, beaten to a pulp, ready to be made into paper, something to write on. I pray it be love. I pray it be enlightenenlivenempower for each and all. And I dare not simply write, type, let the words come unbidden and unbound spilling free from fingertips too long silenced and deafening. "Was it just the season."
Hmm. It's a Fall song. But this is Winter. "It was just the season." Slide guitar? Who? Why don't I already know?
I'm still on about what I can and can't reasonably untype, when, how, why. Used to be I just did my little induction and let my fingers fucking type. Wasn't trying to be nothing for nobody then. Now I'm trying to be the guy I potentially was all that time. And no one is, so it's already off to a complicated start. I'm in an almost entirely deserted corner of the soon to be un-web (google "sopa" and "eff") yet still responsible for publishing publicly. Anyone who ever read the definition of defamation has reason to be a little jumpy about any and all on line activity. Hell, at some point one's failure to appear in the right IP log will be tantamount to a bogus BBB report.
"Turn me on!" That's Norah, just before "Lonestar". See, this gal was so good I ignored the whole Texas thing. To this day I think this album is the best thing I've heard since the first time I spun "Tapestry" as a child.
But it's getting chilly out here and, besides, it's not nice to the neighbors to be puttering about in the garage with creepy lights into the wee hours. Off to those sleepy clouds of ones preferred color, my preference remaining mine for the nonce.
Thu Dec 22 18:26:24 PST 2011
It's probably a good thing that one or two select folks check daily to make sure I'm still up-and-at-em. I'm here. I'm happier the days I can get my social media in early, but better late than never.
It's hard adjusting to the reality of all this, the enormity of it all. Considering my resources and station I've fairly ambition objectives.
Bowfinger: Imagine a world without likeness rights. Why should I own my face? It's just meat, right? "It's like they can SMELL fifty".
Two grand. $2,184. In cash that's what every movie takes to make. "Where do I go to be an actress?"
It's a silly movie but one very easily projected onto. He even has the prayer beads. Pity I can't do the ponytail.
Need to get a printer set up so I can get my malpractice insurance squared away. And need to spend a little bit of time taking another stab with Thunderbird. I totally failed to get info (at) networking-liberally (dot) com set up on Icedove, but I thought I'd try donwloading and manually installing the real deal.
Out
Wed Dec 21 22:46:40 PST 2011
Part of me really digs this. Part of me is screaming "narcissus much?" It's, uh, a little ambivalent to me. And I really didn't need any more ambivalent. The one that got me a little wigged out was "Accessing Resources". I think it should come before "Boundaries". And I'm not sure why it bugs me to say so, but it does.
Uh, yeah, I really am at the moment thinking my best bet, in lieu of having the intended launch, is to stay on task trying to sleuth it out until either the launch email is off or I see first light of morn. Trying not to disturb my roomates or the neighbors. Readers? Well, you knew it was a dangerous job when you pointed your browser to Oblio's Cap. I might just put all these scripts inline and then point to them. Actually, I'm pretty sure they're already available by way of http directory access, but I seem to have misremembered the path to it just now.
I'm really ambivalent too about my general online footprint. Man, I'd like to have all my shit in the same place. I just wish there were a way to get the goodies I get with dreamhost while staying here with Michal at Cornerhost. I'm just not sure I've been a good enough client/guest.
Truth is, I didn't quite just squelch at self-deprecatory remark so much as notice a space where normally I would have provided some such if only to fill the time. What a terrible thing to notice about oneself. "Wisdom is born of compassion." Yeesh. What the heck was I thinking. I tell ya, that don't sound like the life I remember when I was making these tracks. 'Course, I wasn't a lawyer then. I just acted like one too much for my own good. (Not sure that part's changed yet, but I'm pretty sure I'll get my bar fees paid on time.)
Out
Wed Dec 21 22:24:17 PST 2011
The haters will point out that this trouble with icedove argues in favor of the folks who just use Outlook like the borg intended. On the other hand, doing things my way I've got some great tracks to listen to, and I've been able to blog and email.
Sometimes I wonder if maybe these things are worth more than I ever considered. I assumed anyone could take my method and create as good or better, especially considering the level of the production values. Don't get me wrong, Steve's work on the music absolutely rocked, rocks, and all other tenses of rock my world. But the conditions were primitive. Somewhere I've got an email saying it's all more or less copylefted. I feel like if I put 'em up with a tip jar that I'd have to give him half, and, of course, Pop the other half. Or would it be half to Steve, Half to me, of my half, half to Pop, half to me?
"Some tasks are best left to dreams and hunches." --Boundaries
Out
Wed Dec 21 21:59:26 PST 2011
Fri Dec 23 22:56:42 PST 2011
I'm going to try to get to this earlier tomorrow and henceforth. I hate having to delay going to bed just because I've set this as my practice. Not sure what the parameters of "blog every day" are. I'm pretty sure it's more than putting up some lorem ipsum just to fulfill the letter of the parameters, whatever they are. So I'm playing Norah Jones's 2002 super-album, "Come Away With Me". It's got to be as good for programming the protective unconscious as anything else on my hard drive.
Creeps me out a bit, talking about my hard drive. I don't feel I have as good a control over my filing in general as I'd like, and it's probably not even a good idea to have said so, so here's a mid-sentence, on the fly correction and amendment, I want my files to be better. Who can't say that in all honesty?
Tired. Beer straight to my head, which, of course, is the plan. Sleepy time soon. Big day, truly, but still trying to walk that line between public and private and pretty much all of today is private more than less, so not much to say about today. There's a line like that in the Steve Zissou movie, "What's she write?" "Oh, nothing to speak of." I love that scene.
And, of course, there's lots of stuff about GP that I continue to avoid. I'm doing pretty well and most folks would mistake me for a functioning human being and never notice the gaping chest wound where my heart once was. I don't know how to make any of it better other than to end this paragraph.
I am lost, confused, beaten to a pulp, ready to be made into paper, something to write on. I pray it be love. I pray it be enlightenenlivenempower for each and all. And I dare not simply write, type, let the words come unbidden and unbound spilling free from fingertips too long silenced and deafening. "Was it just the season."
Hmm. It's a Fall song. But this is Winter. "It was just the season." Slide guitar? Who? Why don't I already know?
I'm still on about what I can and can't reasonably untype, when, how, why. Used to be I just did my little induction and let my fingers fucking type. Wasn't trying to be nothing for nobody then. Now I'm trying to be the guy I potentially was all that time. And no one is, so it's already off to a complicated start. I'm in an almost entirely deserted corner of the soon to be un-web (google "sopa" and "eff") yet still responsible for publishing publicly. Anyone who ever read the definition of defamation has reason to be a little jumpy about any and all on line activity. Hell, at some point one's failure to appear in the right IP log will be tantamount to a bogus BBB report.
"Turn me on!" That's Norah, just before "Lonestar". See, this gal was so good I ignored the whole Texas thing. To this day I think this album is the best thing I've heard since the first time I spun "Tapestry" as a child.
But it's getting chilly out here and, besides, it's not nice to the neighbors to be puttering about in the garage with creepy lights into the wee hours. Off to those sleepy clouds of ones preferred color, my preference remaining mine for the nonce.
Thu Dec 22 18:26:24 PST 2011
It's probably a good thing that one or two select folks check daily to make sure I'm still up-and-at-em. I'm here. I'm happier the days I can get my social media in early, but better late than never.
It's hard adjusting to the reality of all this, the enormity of it all. Considering my resources and station I've fairly ambition objectives.
Bowfinger: Imagine a world without likeness rights. Why should I own my face? It's just meat, right? "It's like they can SMELL fifty".
Two grand. $2,184. In cash that's what every movie takes to make. "Where do I go to be an actress?"
It's a silly movie but one very easily projected onto. He even has the prayer beads. Pity I can't do the ponytail.
Need to get a printer set up so I can get my malpractice insurance squared away. And need to spend a little bit of time taking another stab with Thunderbird. I totally failed to get info (at) networking-liberally (dot) com set up on Icedove, but I thought I'd try donwloading and manually installing the real deal.
Out
Wed Dec 21 22:46:40 PST 2011
Part of me really digs this. Part of me is screaming "narcissus much?" It's, uh, a little ambivalent to me. And I really didn't need any more ambivalent. The one that got me a little wigged out was "Accessing Resources". I think it should come before "Boundaries". And I'm not sure why it bugs me to say so, but it does.
Uh, yeah, I really am at the moment thinking my best bet, in lieu of having the intended launch, is to stay on task trying to sleuth it out until either the launch email is off or I see first light of morn. Trying not to disturb my roomates or the neighbors. Readers? Well, you knew it was a dangerous job when you pointed your browser to Oblio's Cap. I might just put all these scripts inline and then point to them. Actually, I'm pretty sure they're already available by way of http directory access, but I seem to have misremembered the path to it just now.
I'm really ambivalent too about my general online footprint. Man, I'd like to have all my shit in the same place. I just wish there were a way to get the goodies I get with dreamhost while staying here with Michal at Cornerhost. I'm just not sure I've been a good enough client/guest.
Truth is, I didn't quite just squelch at self-deprecatory remark so much as notice a space where normally I would have provided some such if only to fill the time. What a terrible thing to notice about oneself. "Wisdom is born of compassion." Yeesh. What the heck was I thinking. I tell ya, that don't sound like the life I remember when I was making these tracks. 'Course, I wasn't a lawyer then. I just acted like one too much for my own good. (Not sure that part's changed yet, but I'm pretty sure I'll get my bar fees paid on time.)
Out
Wed Dec 21 22:24:17 PST 2011
The haters will point out that this trouble with icedove argues in favor of the folks who just use Outlook like the borg intended. On the other hand, doing things my way I've got some great tracks to listen to, and I've been able to blog and email.
Sometimes I wonder if maybe these things are worth more than I ever considered. I assumed anyone could take my method and create as good or better, especially considering the level of the production values. Don't get me wrong, Steve's work on the music absolutely rocked, rocks, and all other tenses of rock my world. But the conditions were primitive. Somewhere I've got an email saying it's all more or less copylefted. I feel like if I put 'em up with a tip jar that I'd have to give him half, and, of course, Pop the other half. Or would it be half to Steve, Half to me, of my half, half to Pop, half to me?
"Some tasks are best left to dreams and hunches." --Boundaries
Out
Wed Dec 21 21:59:26 PST 2011
Uh, I'm thinking of staying up all night and listening to _all_ my "Incantations" recordings. I mean, heck, it's a quality hypnotherapist, recordings a decade old, chock full of positive suggestions. Seriously, I'd listen to this cat.
Still struggling with icedove. Reckon if I was on the mac I'd use fresh thunderbird. I'd love feed back from any of you trusted others out there in that section of my unconscious called the other side of the screen. "Knowing solidly that you deserve success..." It's just plain weird hearing this. I mean, you know, thinking of it less as me the trainer, more as me the psych admit. I can't decide if the music makes it better or worse, I mean, you know, on the nourish-damage line rather than the gain/loss line.
Definitely also chanelling my own personal gonzo tonight. There are few things today that keep the newquelar terrors at bay. So, yeah, it's gonzo, it's R.A.W. quantum, it's Luna Simone. I can't see her as clearly as I'd like, neither crezent nor whole. "And some message sets are naturally more in tune with each other..." Not many people ever actually listened to this, much less with any reason to remember any of it. Consciously. Ah, you know. "Be congruent...open your inner eye."
I guess I can see why I stopped listening to that crap while I was with GP. All she ever heard was "Mind Control" ala literotica, which in turn made it hard to put her at ease. (Apologies, GP, if that doesn't seem properly worded. No harm meant.)
Open Awareness playing at the moment. Feeling pretty good about the serendipity of finding these decade old, pre-nine-one-one, positive suggestion tracks I was more or less channeling. And, duh, while typing "channeling" in the last sentence the speakers cut out or the buffer filled or something. This "Open Awareness" sounds, well, pre- "The Humans Are Dead". How could I know?
Out
Wed Dec 21 21:33:45 PST 2011
I'd say I'm feeling like Parsifal in the Seige Perilous, but to tell the truth I don't know that part of the legend well enough to even be sure I have the titles right. Meanwhile, the password reset hasn't propagated yet, so I'm still on hold for the launch email, which has actually become Robert's 11 review and 12 preview. I think that's most respectful of the cross-cut of folks who will be getting it.
I owe GP a txt. I'm fine, but things have been hectic. I know I'll miss you and your brother, and I'm pretty much pretending Christmas doesn't exist this year. Figure better to reply here, since it's past polite txting hours and it's a message I don't mind sharing with the others checking in here from time to time.
A bit bugged about not literally pulling the trigger at 21:30, but I was on task and on track and in truth the deadline as such is truly self-imposed and always meant to give way to reality. Reality is today I did my best to stay out of people's hair and enjoy the holiday, as I don't expect any other holidays to mean much to me for a while. Got some really great shots out by Bolsa Chica, one or two of which might even compell me to set up zenphoto on oblios-cap.com for the burgeoning "portfolio". (Scare quotes because dreamhost's tos, as I recall, explicitly preclude using their service for archiving or storage, so I am in the habit of thinking twice before putting a file on any machine not physically in my possession. But that's just me. I know that can't be most folks's take on the tech.
Trying again on the test email.
Out
Wed Dec 21 21:22:59 PST 2011
Trouble configuring icedove. Had to reset passwords for info (at) networking-liberally (dot) com, prior to doing list imports. Think that's resolved now, but have to send a couple test emails to and fro.
While I'm here, I have to say, it was the single most memorable last day of Fall in my 47 so far. Spinning "Wish You Were Here", title track of the eponymous album...and now go to answer a txt.
Out
Tue Dec 20 20:23:59 PST 2011
Trimmed version survives at http://networkingliberally.com
I plan tomorrow at 21:30 local to hit send on the http://networking-liberally.com launch email. I'm nervous as heck. What if there's no response? What if there's more response than I know what to do with? Should this post even be here rather than at Oblio's? Probably not, but I can excise as need be.
Our Inaugural Post notwithstanding, we, Networking Liberally, are not a political group, nor (most certainly not!) are we a political action group. What we are is an old fashioned business networking group for folks who have found similar groups perhaps more conservative and less liberal or progressive than they would like. The only difference between us and other groups with internationally recognized names is we put the word "liberally" in our name, to invite with open arms all you business referral networkers, brand new or old school, who like to wear their liberal leanings proudly on their sleeve.
Our sleeves.Probably still over the top. Easy to chicken out. Sleeping on it.
Out
Tue Dec 20 19:33:16 PST 2011
I couldn't sleep here, Missus, it's too good for the likes of me.
Okay, I know, it's a little gay. So sue me. I love this film. It's got just enough screaming, evokes just that little smidge of Sade, yet in the end is really a very happy love story. "She only wants to talk of love?"
So I'm supposed to be playing Higgins? Confirmed old bachelor? Who is my Eliza?
Tue Dec 20 17:58:58 PST 2011
I'm feeling oddly constrained as to what I can say today. I've certainly made a beast of myself to some folks, and I hope I am well on the road to making amends. The movie has extra creep factor tonight. I've really been keyed up all day long and mostly just want to go to bed, and probably shouldn't have picked a semi-horror flick. But I'm suddenly wondering if it was before or after "Network". Probably after, it's a fairly derivative flick on that line of analysis. But I think we can safely give DePalma credit for some darned creative work, not entirely lacking in a Greenway sensibility.
I guess the costumers on this last number never saw Amelie, "Fur pie doesn't sell."
So, like I say, I feel constrained to watch more than usual what I say and yet also to be genuine and transparent and all that as per Goldberg and Sher and the rest. It is a puzzlement.
Set and setting. What the hell was I thinking? Urgh. Well, at least I suppose I ought to remember it's in here, my head that is, and it does have a certain crescendo, not unlike Tommy or even JCS. It's just, well, not really pleasant. Now I'm finishing mostly on sheer raw nerve and stamina...and to give the tunes a closer than usual listen on these cans.
Is there a moral here? Or is it just aimed at triggering an emotional response?
Out
Tue Dec 20 17:49:00 PST 2011
"Phantom of the Paradise". Lots of subtext there for me to work with, peer through, generally process.
First, before I lose track, let me repeat, Lucas stole the look of Darth not from Doom but from Winslow Leach. Period. Even Leach's recording booth has a special TIE fighter feel to it. Darth Vader is a punk-ass rip-off. You heard it here.
That said, mostly lousy day, but I guess it's to be expected.
Got a song to sing...
Out
Tue Dec 20 07:39:52 PST 2011
It occurred to me as I was trimming my beard this morning that the offputting spam from yesterday is probably more a symptom of the Penn State debacle than of anything else. If anything, it suggest to me that there really is value in getting "What's Not To Like" in print sooner rather than later, even if only on this blog.
Tue Dec 20 07:22:10 PST 2011
I still catch myself asking, "Why does this still hurt so much?" And I still feel naked and sometimes a little disoriented without my ring. I know, it will pass. Head down, shoulder to the wheel, hell, most any wheel, so long as it keeps me too busy to notice.
Tue Dec 20 07:10:03 PST 2011
Solstice preparations are the order of the day for me. I have been building up to tomorrow, planning the launch of http://networking-liberally.com. Today I will finalize the home page, probably set up an empty bulletin board or other hangout spot in the .net, and put a donations link on the .org. Maybe. We'll see. I am trying to think ahead, trying to stay scalable, trying to stay productive and efficient, and keeping everything on the free-or-already-paid-for status. I do anticipate it generating a sufficient flurry of activity to help keep me busy for the end of this year and the beginning of the next.
I suppose the biggest concern is how easily response could overwhelm my capacity, not on the site, but on my actual ability to connect and feed into chapters. At present the plan is to announce a SGV/Pasadena chapter in Q1 and a SouthBay/LB chapter in Q2. And, of course, if folks on the list are interested in joining or starting a chapter they can get in touch.
I don't feel ready. But as I likely never will, I will proceed as planned. And, anyway, while it's fine to worry about such possibilities, odds are response will be like any other direct mail and I'll be lucky to get a 1%. Could just be me and Karen at Starbuck San Marino for a couple of weeks. More likely something in the middle.
Out
Mon Dec 19 23:23:18 PST 2011
So, now I'm a GEICO customer, many thanks to G for the referral. Once that was resolved my stress level finally acheived something like equalibrium.
In case more than one person came to the same conclusion, I apologize if anything in previous posts indicated or implied that Gabriela wants to get back together with me. I know she is done with me, and even if she wasn't, I should be done with anyone who tries to throw me away twice, much less twice in six months. I love her and want her to have a beautiful life, but I'm not a complete idiot.
It was a hard day and a long day but a productive day, getting much more than just my main 3 to do items done, and squeezing in time for a pint at the pub with a pal. I have no reason to kick. So it's lights out pretty quick here. More in the morn.
Out
Tue Dec 20 17:58:58 PST 2011
I'm feeling oddly constrained as to what I can say today. I've certainly made a beast of myself to some folks, and I hope I am well on the road to making amends. The movie has extra creep factor tonight. I've really been keyed up all day long and mostly just want to go to bed, and probably shouldn't have picked a semi-horror flick. But I'm suddenly wondering if it was before or after "Network". Probably after, it's a fairly derivative flick on that line of analysis. But I think we can safely give DePalma credit for some darned creative work, not entirely lacking in a Greenway sensibility.
I guess the costumers on this last number never saw Amelie, "Fur pie doesn't sell."
So, like I say, I feel constrained to watch more than usual what I say and yet also to be genuine and transparent and all that as per Goldberg and Sher and the rest. It is a puzzlement.
Set and setting. What the hell was I thinking? Urgh. Well, at least I suppose I ought to remember it's in here, my head that is, and it does have a certain crescendo, not unlike Tommy or even JCS. It's just, well, not really pleasant. Now I'm finishing mostly on sheer raw nerve and stamina...and to give the tunes a closer than usual listen on these cans.
Is there a moral here? Or is it just aimed at triggering an emotional response?
Out
Tue Dec 20 17:49:00 PST 2011
"Phantom of the Paradise". Lots of subtext there for me to work with, peer through, generally process.
First, before I lose track, let me repeat, Lucas stole the look of Darth not from Doom but from Winslow Leach. Period. Even Leach's recording booth has a special TIE fighter feel to it. Darth Vader is a punk-ass rip-off. You heard it here.
That said, mostly lousy day, but I guess it's to be expected.
Got a song to sing...
Out
Tue Dec 20 07:39:52 PST 2011
It occurred to me as I was trimming my beard this morning that the offputting spam from yesterday is probably more a symptom of the Penn State debacle than of anything else. If anything, it suggest to me that there really is value in getting "What's Not To Like" in print sooner rather than later, even if only on this blog.
Tue Dec 20 07:22:10 PST 2011
I still catch myself asking, "Why does this still hurt so much?" And I still feel naked and sometimes a little disoriented without my ring. I know, it will pass. Head down, shoulder to the wheel, hell, most any wheel, so long as it keeps me too busy to notice.
Tue Dec 20 07:10:03 PST 2011
Solstice preparations are the order of the day for me. I have been building up to tomorrow, planning the launch of http://networking-liberally.com. Today I will finalize the home page, probably set up an empty bulletin board or other hangout spot in the .net, and put a donations link on the .org. Maybe. We'll see. I am trying to think ahead, trying to stay scalable, trying to stay productive and efficient, and keeping everything on the free-or-already-paid-for status. I do anticipate it generating a sufficient flurry of activity to help keep me busy for the end of this year and the beginning of the next.
I suppose the biggest concern is how easily response could overwhelm my capacity, not on the site, but on my actual ability to connect and feed into chapters. At present the plan is to announce a SGV/Pasadena chapter in Q1 and a SouthBay/LB chapter in Q2. And, of course, if folks on the list are interested in joining or starting a chapter they can get in touch.
I don't feel ready. But as I likely never will, I will proceed as planned. And, anyway, while it's fine to worry about such possibilities, odds are response will be like any other direct mail and I'll be lucky to get a 1%. Could just be me and Karen at Starbuck San Marino for a couple of weeks. More likely something in the middle.
Out
Mon Dec 19 23:23:18 PST 2011
So, now I'm a GEICO customer, many thanks to G for the referral. Once that was resolved my stress level finally acheived something like equalibrium.
In case more than one person came to the same conclusion, I apologize if anything in previous posts indicated or implied that Gabriela wants to get back together with me. I know she is done with me, and even if she wasn't, I should be done with anyone who tries to throw me away twice, much less twice in six months. I love her and want her to have a beautiful life, but I'm not a complete idiot.
It was a hard day and a long day but a productive day, getting much more than just my main 3 to do items done, and squeezing in time for a pint at the pub with a pal. I have no reason to kick. So it's lights out pretty quick here. More in the morn.
Out
Mon Dec 19 08:01:58 PST 2011
"Is there any danger? No, no. Not really. Just lean on me. Take the time to treat your friendly neighbors honestly."
I don't know how court reporters do it. I have trouble keeping up with a song I know cold. Why don't I know shorthand? Morse code? Why is it the only useful skill I've got is typing, and that not really at the level one would expect?
That's probably a little more self-effacing than anyone who doesn't already know me ought to see, but, as I've said, this is public, but not syndicated nor vigoursly networked. There will certainly be a different tone and tenor at networking-liberally, although I am seriously thinking these days about the wisdom of getting it mirrored in any non-US-controlled registry. Normally I'd suppress those thoughts unless in private conversation with someone at EFF's upper echelons. But, really, it's not as taboo a subject as many and it's in solid ACLU territory as well.
Mon Dec 19 07:29:29 PST 2011
Feels wierd to have just used my cheap-ass phone to tweet an international warning about kiddie porn spam. But, yeah, that's what the last post was about, and I only opened the post separately because I wanted the time stamp in the data flow.
More odd to my mind is that while musing to myself the various habits of some of my intimates I concluded that statutory rape laws were needless, because the requirement of consent already rules out minors. Minors are, by definition, unable to tender effective consent (with some exceptions for purchase of neccessaries). Not of age? Can't consent. Can't consent? Don't do it.
One can perceive then, perhaps, the eldritch horror that was an email in the lawyer account inviting me to view non-consensual, nor play-acted, couplings, and why even now I won't type it verbatim...as it might in fact tend to incriminate me, quite despite my complete innocence, of something with profound international consequences. Better I smuggled hash through Turkey. (I've known some gorgeous Turkish women, I have. But I digress.) I am now erasing the offending email and will be back after I finish reading my morning email.
Out
Mon Dec 19 07:21:52 PST 2011
Very disturbing change in the spam to the official account, the rl (at) robertlink (dot) org account. The subject line asks is the reader wants to see non-consensual coitus, and I rephrase this from the verbatim for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is the extreme illegality of this particular matter, significantly riskier on legal terms than anything as prosaic as Viagra (tm) adverts. So, I repeat EXTREMELY DISTRESSED AT UNWANTED AND UNWARRANTED AND IN ALWAYS UNWELCOME SPAM purportedly from udo (at) karkowski (dot) de and I'm not sure what to do about it...except email some folks about this post.
Out
Mon Dec 19 07:07:54 PST 2011
Must an attorney be a completely private person in order to keep his fiduciary duties and various confidences completely private? I contend that is not only not a requirement but is in reality untenable.
Foonberg writes movingly of his wife's upset at learning certain client matters at a house party with friends. The issue is when the information in question was public knowledge and thus no longer privileged. It's not entirely unlike questions of clearance in the entertainment industry. What the two scenarios share is the question of entry into public knowledge. Or so it seems to me.
I awoke thinking about my CLE requirements. They're due by the end of January, but I feel like I ought to be using this fallow time of the holidays to get them in. On the other hand, my emotional state is so brittle and fragile right now that I can barely make it through my boxes. I finally found my December daytimer, but I haven't the emotional belief in a future so far ahead that I can justify spending the thirty bucks on next year's set. I can only see out about as far as what's on my white board. It's paid for.
And that all sounds so pissy and whiney. I'm my own "Hope Goes Emo". Just got a txt from GP, and, by heck, she's really being as nice as can be and all the things I've always wanted to reward in her, behaviorally, just so long as there is no challenge to the presupposition that we are through.
She threw me away, twice, in less than six months. That's a presupposition that needn't be challenged.
Long accustomed to at least being to read my writing out loud before I posted. That option is lost in the current sleeping configuration. 07:17 is too early here to be making so much noise. Hell, I'm worried my typing tapping clickety-clickety is being drowned out by the fridge and clock. I like to bang on the keys and am working to override that at the moment.
Sun Dec 18 21:00:21 PST 2011
Trying to finish out the "Garden State" soundtrack, but thinking I might just turn in. Had a dodgy moment with the Coldplay addition, which had special meaning for me with GP. So, yeah, doin' fine, moving forward, glad for all the little helpers I can get.
Apologies, btw, for the lack of rss. This really isn't for that kind of syndication. It's a little more personal, even if every bit as public. If you know me much at all you know how involved I am in that inside/outside line.
Apropos of such distinctions, my recent phase of shutterbugging has me very much differently aware of the extent to which selection triggers foreground phenomena and thus how much deleting goes on at the periphery of the rods and cones.
I've erased the dry erase board and put up a hexagram, "Shaoguo", binary 001100 (sorry, that's a little dyslexic, and I don't know the standard orientation in this medium). I've also made a probably somewhat childish stab at drawing the characters. I'm not ready for brush work. We'll leave it at that. Thank goodness I still have my keyboard, and in some dimension, my Queen.
Out
Sun Dec 18 18:09:03 PST 2011
Displeased to realize I missed this yesterday. The idea is to be pre-engaging my Solstice practice, and that was to be daily. Contemplating what, if anything, to change, hoping for more than just a flash, but the actual plans.
Listening to Norah's "Come Away With Me", the album as a piece and the speciric song as I type these words. "Come away with me and we'll kiss on a mountain top. Come away with me and I'll never stop loving you."
Generally upbeat day, but there were swirls of emotion I cannot deny. At this point on the arc of the weekend I'm happy to be where and as I am, and thus tender complaint to none.
Fri Dec 16 21:27:57 PST 2011
Bedtime. One of "those" days, ineffeable, indescribable. If you were there, you know. As for the rest, well I'm working hard on getting work, paid work preferably, but work. I know I've still got a lot of boxes to go through and all that, but all things considered I think I'm holding up and doing pretty welll.
Am giving a lot of thought to reviving the "Luna Simone" character. She's taken directly from Robert Anton Wilson's "Simon Moon", and I think with a license in spirit that even his estate should appreciate. She was traveling to a Mars somewhere between Valentine Michael Smith's and Marjorie Baldwin's. In fact, there's probably going to be more of Heinlein's "Pudding" or "Friday" in Luna than would be wise, except that as Heinlein disappears from the shelves to make way for the likes of "Eclipse" and "True Blood" I think spreading on the Heinlein good and thick might just be the best thing going.
Mon Dec 19 07:29:29 PST 2011
Feels wierd to have just used my cheap-ass phone to tweet an international warning about kiddie porn spam. But, yeah, that's what the last post was about, and I only opened the post separately because I wanted the time stamp in the data flow.
More odd to my mind is that while musing to myself the various habits of some of my intimates I concluded that statutory rape laws were needless, because the requirement of consent already rules out minors. Minors are, by definition, unable to tender effective consent (with some exceptions for purchase of neccessaries). Not of age? Can't consent. Can't consent? Don't do it.
One can perceive then, perhaps, the eldritch horror that was an email in the lawyer account inviting me to view non-consensual, nor play-acted, couplings, and why even now I won't type it verbatim...as it might in fact tend to incriminate me, quite despite my complete innocence, of something with profound international consequences. Better I smuggled hash through Turkey. (I've known some gorgeous Turkish women, I have. But I digress.) I am now erasing the offending email and will be back after I finish reading my morning email.
Out
Mon Dec 19 07:21:52 PST 2011
Very disturbing change in the spam to the official account, the rl (at) robertlink (dot) org account. The subject line asks is the reader wants to see non-consensual coitus, and I rephrase this from the verbatim for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is the extreme illegality of this particular matter, significantly riskier on legal terms than anything as prosaic as Viagra (tm) adverts. So, I repeat EXTREMELY DISTRESSED AT UNWANTED AND UNWARRANTED AND IN ALWAYS UNWELCOME SPAM purportedly from udo (at) karkowski (dot) de and I'm not sure what to do about it...except email some folks about this post.
Out
Mon Dec 19 07:07:54 PST 2011
Must an attorney be a completely private person in order to keep his fiduciary duties and various confidences completely private? I contend that is not only not a requirement but is in reality untenable.
Foonberg writes movingly of his wife's upset at learning certain client matters at a house party with friends. The issue is when the information in question was public knowledge and thus no longer privileged. It's not entirely unlike questions of clearance in the entertainment industry. What the two scenarios share is the question of entry into public knowledge. Or so it seems to me.
I awoke thinking about my CLE requirements. They're due by the end of January, but I feel like I ought to be using this fallow time of the holidays to get them in. On the other hand, my emotional state is so brittle and fragile right now that I can barely make it through my boxes. I finally found my December daytimer, but I haven't the emotional belief in a future so far ahead that I can justify spending the thirty bucks on next year's set. I can only see out about as far as what's on my white board. It's paid for.
And that all sounds so pissy and whiney. I'm my own "Hope Goes Emo". Just got a txt from GP, and, by heck, she's really being as nice as can be and all the things I've always wanted to reward in her, behaviorally, just so long as there is no challenge to the presupposition that we are through.
She threw me away, twice, in less than six months. That's a presupposition that needn't be challenged.
Long accustomed to at least being to read my writing out loud before I posted. That option is lost in the current sleeping configuration. 07:17 is too early here to be making so much noise. Hell, I'm worried my typing tapping clickety-clickety is being drowned out by the fridge and clock. I like to bang on the keys and am working to override that at the moment.
Sun Dec 18 21:00:21 PST 2011
Trying to finish out the "Garden State" soundtrack, but thinking I might just turn in. Had a dodgy moment with the Coldplay addition, which had special meaning for me with GP. So, yeah, doin' fine, moving forward, glad for all the little helpers I can get.
Apologies, btw, for the lack of rss. This really isn't for that kind of syndication. It's a little more personal, even if every bit as public. If you know me much at all you know how involved I am in that inside/outside line.
Apropos of such distinctions, my recent phase of shutterbugging has me very much differently aware of the extent to which selection triggers foreground phenomena and thus how much deleting goes on at the periphery of the rods and cones.
I've erased the dry erase board and put up a hexagram, "Shaoguo", binary 001100 (sorry, that's a little dyslexic, and I don't know the standard orientation in this medium). I've also made a probably somewhat childish stab at drawing the characters. I'm not ready for brush work. We'll leave it at that. Thank goodness I still have my keyboard, and in some dimension, my Queen.
Out
Sun Dec 18 18:09:03 PST 2011
Displeased to realize I missed this yesterday. The idea is to be pre-engaging my Solstice practice, and that was to be daily. Contemplating what, if anything, to change, hoping for more than just a flash, but the actual plans.
Listening to Norah's "Come Away With Me", the album as a piece and the speciric song as I type these words. "Come away with me and we'll kiss on a mountain top. Come away with me and I'll never stop loving you."
Generally upbeat day, but there were swirls of emotion I cannot deny. At this point on the arc of the weekend I'm happy to be where and as I am, and thus tender complaint to none.
Fri Dec 16 21:27:57 PST 2011
Bedtime. One of "those" days, ineffeable, indescribable. If you were there, you know. As for the rest, well I'm working hard on getting work, paid work preferably, but work. I know I've still got a lot of boxes to go through and all that, but all things considered I think I'm holding up and doing pretty welll.
Am giving a lot of thought to reviving the "Luna Simone" character. She's taken directly from Robert Anton Wilson's "Simon Moon", and I think with a license in spirit that even his estate should appreciate. She was traveling to a Mars somewhere between Valentine Michael Smith's and Marjorie Baldwin's. In fact, there's probably going to be more of Heinlein's "Pudding" or "Friday" in Luna than would be wise, except that as Heinlein disappears from the shelves to make way for the likes of "Eclipse" and "True Blood" I think spreading on the Heinlein good and thick might just be the best thing going.
What I can't decide is format. I mean, do I need to in some way tag it? Give it a name? Anchor tags on the page? Is it time to cut down the size of the home page? Do I just like doing things the hard way or is there something wrong with me?
I can answer that one. Sometimes adding extraneous items is the only way to hold my attention. I think it stems from early exposure to stage magic and a biography of Houdini. I truly value parallel processing and tracking of audience attention. But that gets a little weird to be around after a while, I guess. I just know it seems like no one can really stand large of doses of me in any state of mind, which is a drag.
But I do have some friends who get me, and I've actually been blessed with a panapoly of truly good people who, whether they get me or not, really want to see me do well, be well. So I'm going to drift off to sleep now on that thought, billowing warm goldenredorange clouds of sleep...
Out
Fri Dec 16 03:56:43 PST 2011
Up a littler earlier today, and it feels nice. Beads are done, the modem is off upstairs, but I can compose this entry then upload it later. I've got that much of my system set up right.
Thinking that I will introduce Networking Liberally at ICUJP today, assuming we do the usual introductions thing. Not sure how it will go, since today is also scheduled as the ICUJP holiday party.
I know that generally I need to get more done. The excuse of the divorce, the excuse of living out of boxes, while real and legitimate complications to my life right now these things cannot be allowed to stop me or derail me. Some days will be better than others.
But this morning, none of the pain is snapping at me yet and I don't feel like I have much to say and yet I feel compelled to say so here where folks will be able to read where I have written I have little to say. Not too exciting, that. Nor is it entirely true, I'm just not warmed up. First time I've written immediately after beads in a long time, and I'm just not flowing as smooth or intense as I would like.
Thunder storms in L.A. yesterday. As things worked out, I happened to follow the trailing edge of the South bound storm all the way from Pasadena to Signal Hill, I haven't seen lightning like that since New Mexico with Bob Mattingly in, what, 1981? We were coming back from a trip to Rolla and somewhere in New Mexico ran through such a storm that we pulled over to wait for it to ease up as the downpour was so great the windshield wipers were useless even at their fastest speed. With that deluge was the most amazing thunder and lightning I have ever seen, although yesterday came closer than I ever expected to experience here in Southern California.
I found myself thinking, as I drifted off last night wrapped in visualizations specially selected to help me sleep tight and wake up fresh, about living on Stead Air Force Base Housing briefly for the first part of first grade. It was there that I because accustomed to sonic booms, and I think that partly informs my response to thunder and lightning. They excite me, and if the thunder clap is loud enough I am liable to start cackling like Vincent Price in a Roger Corman flick.
I feel like I'm in limbo, again. I had, what, six weeks of feeling like I had a home and a future, like I had arrived at some new plateau from which I could stage my next accomplishments. We all know how that worked out. I've had a couple of setbacks this year, separate from the actual struggles with Gabriela. Plus, now it's the end of the year and I feel like I'm just dog-paddling until the swell I've been tracking builds into a catchable wave. After the first I expect to be busier than ever, but until then everything feels slow and ponderous and uphill.
Yesterday I described my 2012 forecast: Networking Liberally should take about 80 percent of my time while generating 20% or less of my 20102 income, with law being the 20% of my time that brings in 80% of my income. And "What's Not To Like" will fill in any remaining time. With these three projects and a commitment to run a half-marathon in late February I actually have plenty on my plate. Add to that the task of sorting through my personal belongings, out of storage for only a few weeks before being boxed again and move to Signal Hill. I've got plenty to do.
The catch is that all these things require me to really set and maintain my own state, to provide my own structure. I don't and won't have the luxury of external direction. I have to do it myself.
Which is probably the biggest reason for this otherwise none-too-exciting post. I need to work towards a rhythm, some habit and routines which serve the long and short range goals. It isn't always easy, what with being in someone else's home, someone else's energy. I pray the next few weeks and months can see an uptick in the business which lets me get back on my own two feet. The practice may have been in the black for 2011 (and I'm reasonably certain it was) but personally I remain in a bit of a hole. I'm tired of it. Time to climb out. I can only hope my recounting of the days spent in the climb are of some entertainment value to anyone reading this.
Out
Thu Dec 15 08:37:32 PST 2011
Rough morning. On morning walk my phone announced that although I have 7 gig free on my micro-sd card, the os wouldn't let me make any more files. So I had to clear my pics off the card. And that means _reviewing_ pics I'd prefer to not think about right now, cats, bridges, boats, friends. All gone now. (I have two backups from recent weeks, so they're not lost, they're just off the phone for now. I can move back over those which I need, but even that task might seem overwhelming later. I might just start fresh. Next up, a boat-load of sound files to take off the card.
Txted GP requesting permission to keep in touch with the Alonsos, mostly her father whom I do in fact see on Facebook and LinkedIn. That sentence sounds so cold and mean and does not properly portray the difficulty in squeezing off the tear ducts as I type this. I might be a good year for blogging, but it looks to be a very sad year as well. I keep saying, like '68 and '72 with better tech, but so far no one seems to be getting the same vibe as me. Maybe I'm only forecasting my own personal state of mind, seeing the future through the veil of sorrow that threatens to suffocate me one minute to the next.
So I race from overwrought to cold-fish with little ability to stand long between the two, much less to rest there with some measure of aplomb or grace. I'm either all fine or I'm holding back tears...well, enough about that. Back to dispassionate for a while I think is better.
I owe Alonso Perezmartinez, pere, many of the finest memories of my life, and as amazing as the locations and the food and the experiences were, what made them count was the company with which I enjoyed them, from Ciudad de Mexico and camarones con huitlacoche (sp?) to running on the black sand beaches of Santorini. If there were times his generosity was tied to his daughter, well, I am equally thankful for all the memories with just she and I, and he had his part in making her that person too, so still, gratitude.
It's going to be a hard Christmas for me without you all.
Out
Wed Dec 14 21:48:26 PST 2011
I really wanted to blog just before bed. Finally ticked off number three on my todo, listening to "Sucker Punch" from desktop one while editing the netlaw blog.
I need to spend more time on the rest of my social media work. It's really the best thing in the world for me, especially for the holidays.
All indicators are that Networking Liberally start-up will preclude me taking partner track with any firm other than the firm of Link. But I will have an amazing array of mentors and folks to associate in as needed. I can be the apocryphal general solo.
Changing tack, both "Sucker Punch" and "Inception" have their linear aspects, don't get me wrong. But because SP curves one can credibly pick it up anywhere and loop through for a great ride, like the perfect surreal merry-go-round. Inception, well, not so much. Not hardly at all, really.
"They're using steampower and clock works...they're already dead!"
Wed Dec 14 13:36:12 PST 2011
A couple of pleasant developments, including some perfectly civil and even touching exchanges with Gabby via txt. I am as hopeful as ever that we will be able to hammer out something like a peaceful co-existence, which pleases me mightily.
Also, just put an event on the calendar for January 19, an American Constitution Society gig with two 9th Circuit justices on a panel discussing federalism. Should be very cool.
And, finally, a bit of work from a prospective client put on my radar by my paralegal, to keep me busy the rest of the afternoon until time to grab some suds with Spencer this evening.
Big news today, as far as I know, is SOPA, "Stop Online Piracy Act" is getting some hefty challenge from the likes of Ariana Huffington and Jimmy Wales. We can hope it will go down in flames, but I don't really expect more than a pubic respite, truth be told. This sort of thing is like the sunsetting of parts of H.R. 3162, the so-called "patriot" act, where we see a lot of activity opposing, then a fairly public "defeat" of the bill, then a very quiet second bite at a later point in the news cycle. It's discouraging to even read the news sometimes because of these sort of shenanigans.
But the sun is shining, I've got my belongings sorted for easier access, I've got work, even if more of it is underpaid than I like. I have a future. Time to get to it.
Wed Dec 14 08:35:20 PST 2011
I feel better than I can recall feeling since November 15. I'm not saying it's all better, and there's still a whole lot of hard and potentially ugly still ahead, but I'm happy to say, I'm feeling really pretty good today.
I know, it won't last. But it's nice for now.
Got a txt from Gabriela, very short and to the point and I take it kindly, saying she talked to her attorney and is on board for as simple and painless a summary disso as can be accomplished. That is some pretty good news. I am not happy with how things turned for us, but I still wish her the best and hope she can come out on the other side of this healthy and happy as can be.
I did have an odd micro-dream in which Rumi was nuzzling my elbow trying to get me to feed her. I will miss my cats. But I also know they won't be neglected, they will be loved.
Meanwhile, I've got my work cut out for me and more than enough on my plate to keep me busy...and I'm writing again. Just getting started on the writing path again feels good.
So, not getting wild, not getting manic, but enjoying the good fortune to actually feel like I've got my feet on the ground and will survive this transition. Hope your day is going well too, whoever/wherever you are.
Out
Tue Dec 13 21:36:57 PST 2011
Had a real live freak out this morning. I was folding my new white work shirts and suddenly felt the loss of all of her jackets I will never wash or fold or iron. I about lost it. Somehow I squeezed off my tear glands with a firm "no" and got out to the garage to change my sensory input as the quickest way to change my state (what Mum, ala Bateson, calls, "leaving the field").
My point, of course, is that one is always playing on multiple fields whether one attempts to account for same or not. Concurrent Games Observation is parked somewhere under the semanticrestructuring.com domain at the moment, probably inaccurately listed as a theory. That whole site is a real "work in progress". Oblio's Cap will be getting first call on all my writing duties, even if it means getting up and blogging early to make sure I can squeeze in on a deadline. (Cf. Today's L A Progressive.) I'm proud to be under Dick and Sharon's masthead, and that's the truth of it. I do, however, wonder, should I give them a wider selection of looks from which to choose my author's picture? I'm kindof fond of the current "Jeff Davis/Obadiah Stane" configuration.
Tired.
Out
Tue Dec 13 10:05:44 PST 2011
Going through the boxes retrieved Sunday. Found the two boxes of ashes, one of Roy's the other of T.C.'s, and am sorting into categories. Makes me a little blue, but I suppose that is to be expected. At least I've got speakers hooked up to the laptop now.
One of the categories of boxes is "journals". So far it looks like I've got three boxes of journals going back to maybe 1989. And all I can think of is Lott's journal burning celebration a few years back. I've got a lighter...but I'd feel incomplete if I didn't follow up by burning all the other things I've written, and there's no way to do that with the bits that long since have made their way to the net.
Tue Dec 13 07:21:51 PST 2011
Happy Birthday Shawn!!!
Regular readers will know whom I mean: Friend and benefactor extraordinaire, P-Nordic himself. Happy birthday, big guy!
In other news, I finally read the full text from Gabby, the one where she complains about me being all over the map. She also complains about me making fun of her on the blog. I can see how she would feel that way. She also complains about paying for the divorce. On that I'm less sympathetic, as I opposed the divorce and was calling for us to stay in therapy and keep the forward momentum we had built since July. I am not the source of that cost. If she were able to work with me instead of assuming everything I say is evil mind-fucking we could do the summary disso without any costs other than those court costs I cannot waive...although even then there is a chance the court would look at her I&E and ding her for those same costs waived as to me. But there's zero reason to give money to an attorney...and I suppose if she had stayed in therapy or otherwise not played such a hard game of stonewall we might have reached that conclusion together. More likely, if she had stayed in therapy and, again, if she hadn't played such a hard game of stonewall, we wouldn't be divorcing at all, we'd be working through this stuff. It was she who pulled out of therapy, she who met simple requests with complex demands (e.g., "I need to get my suit" was met with, "Pick up all your stuff"). So, really, this isn't on me. And, as I said before, even if we were still in therapy and still trying, there would be the matter of how I could ever feel safe with her again after the way she has acted twice this year in response to my walking out rather than staying for a crazy yelling match: by refusing to "let me back in". Seriously, why would anyone put up with that twice, or risk it happening a third time.
I do not apologize for the nice things I've said here or in private communication with Gabriela. And while I might more often than some think prudent slip into not entirely professional forms of prose here (yes, that's ironic understatement) I cannot in good faith apologize for that either. The point of writing is to see/hear/feel what's in my head that otherwise might not see the light of day. Or, as Gail Sher puts it in her delightful book, "One Continuous Mistake":
- Writer's write
- Writing is a process
- You don't know what your writing will be until the end of the process
- If writing is your practice, the only way to fail is not to write
That's the system. So, yeah, sometimes I write stuff I neither like nor particularly approve of. That's part of the point. And this blog, this domain, that's where it happens.
Out
Mon Dec 12 21:46:28 PST 2011
Still surreal as a Dali rhinocerous, but I'm here. Salz office holiday lunch was a smash and I spent a fair amount of the day playing Ringo in "A Hard Day's Night", y'know, when he goes "parading" at Paul's uncle's well plied suggestions?
Blogging oughtta start getting better soon, getting back to a more bearable level of semantic heft. I understand some of this has more of a flotsam-and-jetsam feel than one normally enjoys. Soon it will change.
Got a txt from Gabby, she was more or less upset that I was being nice after being mean some other time. Part of me is like, "I should always be angry and acting out? Or I should take the days which let me manifest some small measure of grace as the blessing they are and do the best I can?"
I mean, I get it, she doesn't like me. Never did. Wasn't ever going to kiss me, and so on (cue "the J-man" from Envy). I get it. So we move on. In the end I don't think I can reasonably be held accountable for having thrown more wild punches or barred holds than she did, not by a long shot. If we were in therapy maybe it would be worth discussing, but, of course, that's how we got here, being too good to go to therapy. So here we are, here I am, and I am already on to next week. There's no money to pay lawyers in this one, and no complications to justify anything more than a summary dissolution. Her attorney agreed and said he'd send me his standard summary disso stipulated judgment. I was just going to crib from the booklet like it says to do. Reminds me, all props to California Superior Court's Self-Help service. This, ladies and gentlemen, is how you like to see your tax dollars at work, helping the underserved help themselves. Too bad we'll never see anything like that in medicine.
I digress. Point being, I'm working on being as good a sport about all this as I can, like the guy in "Sweet Home Alabama", "So, that's how this feels". This is not at all what I bargained for. I always believed Executive Chef Gabby would welcome having a lawyer for a partner. I'm still more than just a little plain old stunned that whoever is running the show over there inside that wonderful sweet maddening head of hers has so completely overridden the real power source and instead has shrunk back to a position of fear combined with an attempt to regain an upper hand only granted in the past because it was best for the couple, together, as well as each of us separately. After the second wedding, with Pop and Uncle and Gina, after getting sworn in, well, it was no longer best for me. It was impossible for me to move to professional life without a big shakeup, and we were doing fine, making good progress in therapy and committed to the long term. Then Dad came back to town (and Gabby had weeks earlier said, "Maybe we can skip therapy during the holidays" to the somewhat doubtful looks of both me and the therapist) and we had a fight and I walked out and she refused to let me back in and she stopped going to therapy with me because I was, "Too toxic and too manipulative to ever be safe with in therapy", in words very close to those quoted and to the same effect. That's pretty much how we got here.
And I'm bored as hell with that story. So now we'll shift gears, edit just enough to taste right (which is easier when you wear both hats, but Yaweh help you when you're wrong.)
"Baba Gi" by Supertramp. It's really everything you hate about would-be pop devotional music. I sometimes wonder how this thing got on the same album as "Even in the Quietest Moments", unless it's meant to be parody of that song. I don't know that I can plausibly argue this band is known for that kind of recursion. (Uh, in case you need me to say it, that's the song playing. Not really so random in my context.)
And the Dali reference is because of having watched "Midnight in Paris" two nights in a row. There's a plausible Dali in that flick, talking about painting Owen Wilson with a rhino. Again, I've got context on my side of the conversation that you may lack on yours.
From an information theory standpoint, of course, I think it's fair to say the line between effective communication and in-effective communication is affect. Face to face is the affect our brains are most accustomed (which I think of in this moment as a gloss for "evolved") to. Face to face, affect, facial expression and all those non-verbals, they make up the context against which the "actual words", if there even are such things, are parsed. Text, then, is as close as we seem to get mythical actual words, and I suddenly wonder how the spread of pre-language extra-somatic marking technology (e.g., Lascaux cave paintings) and a fledgling capacity to distinguish maps from territories created the insane phantasm called "actual words" and supposed by some to exist separate from the creatures making noises and moving about in ways having patterns to which our brains are most, again, accustomed to responding on the nourish-damage axis of motivation.
CD is over. Necessita mas musica feliz, por favor! Grooveshark. I think it was Katie who turned Gabby on to it. I had seen conversations online, of course, but hadn't really bothered to check it out. I have to pay to get it running through winamp or vlc, and if I can't have at least that much control of the equalizer I don't usually bother to listen to music. Different source, and now it's the good song off the album I just played, so I'm getting a repeat of sorts.
I've done enough multi-level communication and thus multi-level thinking that, much as was once said of John himself, it's as if I've given up the conscious mind entirely. (I never believed it about John and it was the one real chink in Jordan's armor that I ever really saw. The whole "Knifes cum Crowley cum Hemp cum New Years Eve = BAD ART" when I came back from the nexus of realities just like it looked in Howard the Duck, well I never counted that a chink in the armor. Hell, I got "kledge" from that experience, paving the way for a deeper than usual understanding of "grok" which continues to grow. Oroborous groks. Grokking is Oroborous. Satiation is a pretty powerful state altering device, why didn't I ever think of OmOmOm . . . and the hr tag, above, is a marker for folks willing to read the source file. Namaste.
Sun Dec 11 17:59:35 PST 2011
Got my stuff today. It was really, really hard. There is a hole in my heart and no denying it, not even to spare my loved ones. But this isn't 2001, I'm a significantly different person a decade later. I am hurting, all over, but I am not broken.
I believe, based on having been there, that Gabriela continues to love me and pray for me and want what is best for me. I believe, based on having been there, that she completed as thorough and conscientious a search for and packing of what she believed was my personal property as she would do for her own, probably more so. I tried to say, "Let's do this as much like friends as can be," but chose totally different words and a rotten tone. I can only plead emotionality. I couldn't even look her father in the eye. I knew I would start balling like a baby, and the rule I most clearly seem to track the past couple of days is "no tears".
So, I really do hope and pray she finds happiness and love to last her all her life. She really is and was and will always be all the wonderful things I thought of her and I hope she really connects with that sooner rather than later. I accept that she has the power to move on, and that for better or worse she has excercised that power. We are done. She has cast me off. I love her still and pray for her happiness and that of all who might be in her light.
I'm glad T.C. met her.
And I must move on now.
Out
Sat Dec 10 22:13:42 PST 2011
Look, you all know, if you know me at all, I'm pretty picky about my science fiction, and all the more so about my time travel. So don't kid yourself into thinking I'm giving Woody a free pass. This is really that good on that many levels. For me, that Django stuff, that's burned in with the famous "viet nam execution" shot in "Stardust Memories". It's as heavy or as light as you can make it. "I thought you loved their simplicity!"
"Do you think it's the maid?" "It's always the maid."
And now it's Maxims, then. And we're at Inception level layering, with a French curve and a Bronx accent. (Still wondering why Peter Parker doesn't sound more like Woody.) Maxim's, then, puts us at the ol' Muloune Ruoge (sp?) La Trec, and it looks like "Big Fish". No, really, it's fucking flawless. No one but Woody could or would.
I want to say this movie passes Winokur's zen filter. I don't know if it's true, but I wish I could and I think it ought. It's true. There's Herrigel in there.
Christ on a muther-fucking crutch, _how_ could I forget the chick's name? Oh, tourets, tourets, tourets.
Out
Sat Dec 10 21:28:13 PST 2011
I'm _really_ digging this movie. I think the bad guy is "Wrath of Kahn" level sucky. I *really* hate that guy.
So, Owen Wilson's strollind down the lost streets around the resturant while his fiance is getting flirty in the back of cab with her old professer and his woman. Very sexy subtexty, then in with some djano-esque guitar and we're walking down the magic streets.
"No parlee, so sorry." Masters of ambiguity! Oroborous groks!
The clock strikes midnight, the antique car slows, voices, "Hey! Hey! C'mon!""Is this an old Pugeot?!" Driving in the back of some crazy flapper-dazed car, drinking with the ladies and lads. Guitar. Cut to indoors with, yes, that's right, the Coward himself, Noel.
Dammit, this movie is probably better than "Sucker Punch" save for the lack of up-skirts.
Quick visit from Mum. I'm still entranced by the movie. This movie actually made me recondiser Hemmingway. They fucking cast it _perfectly_. "Yes it was a good book because it was an honest book...not only noble, but brave." "You like Mark Twain?" "You box?" "Not really, no."
"Crummy re-write jobs." "There is nothing beautiful about walking in the rain." Seriously, how fucking more obvious could the mis-match be?
And then it's talking about Gabriela. Look, I'm hurting, worse than when I popped my knee-cap, and it won't go away any time soon. But I'll get by. I'll thrive. And I will all my days pray she finds love and joy.
I'm still on a no tears policy. Sometimes that comes out as things just as unacceptable. Sometimes while I'm writing. That's what writers do. I'm not the first to point it out.
The dialog put into the Hemmingway character sounds like really he's trying super hard to blur prose and poetry. And advertising, but maybe he didn't know it. But, well, he's supposed to be about clear prose, and he rambles on like he's in a coffee house. Which is it?
Is anyone out there reading for anything as de classe as my fixation on Woody Allen. I know, it's not the opera I'd have expected but "...it's more like a still life than a portrait..." is a whole flocking lot better than anything going on in my meatspace. "And Maxim's, then".
No, really, this effin' movie is, well, if one thought Woody somehow anti-drig because of that coke thing in Manhattan, well, get over it. This movie *rocks*.
"You _lived_ with Modigliani?"
Someone care to remind me what point crosses the fair use line? Y'all know where I stand. Where do you?
Sat Dec 10 21:21:27 PST 2011
Daily. That's the idea. I'm not really in a great space right now, but here I am. Tomorrow I'm taking a U-Haul to my ol' place and getting my stuff.
Distracted by "Midnight in Paris" and really, really hate the guy from the "Underworld" franchise. He's pretty much everything I set out to not be. "Well, scripts are easier, so..."
I love this fucking movie. Now it's the movie I watched before I got my stuff. "Paris, in the '20s, in the rain."
"Nostalgia is denial." Fucking ass-hat.
I don't understand why more folks don't really give Allen his props. No one said he didn't have some creepy shit in him, but he's a real artist.
Out
Fri Dec 9 21:04:58 PST 2011
I felled compelled to say that, coincident with and possibly caused by getting a new "week-in-a-peek" dry erase board, I have started a 64 day run with the I Ching. Yesterday, December 8, the 30 year anniversary of the murder of John Lennon, I started with K'un. Today is Fu, Returning. My primary text will be the Shaughnessy, and I may not say more than the name of the hexagram, but the plan is to do 64 without missing any. Would be great if they became the first post of a day, but I can't commit to that at the moment.
May have formed a relationship with a P.I. and may even have some small things in the early Q1 of 2012. Keep the fingers crossed.
I have fallen so far out of synch with the I Ching that I cannot at this moment recall the eight trigrams. That is not good at all! I won't type out the machinations by which I recover that data. Somethings are just fine inside.
Groove Salad playing some kindof buggy stuff. Mostly I listen to Digitalis. Remembering why. Oh well, probably time for me to toughen up at least a little. At the moment I'm really just waiting to go to bed. Don't want to leave a chat with a pretty girl too abruptly.
Anyway, if I'm going to do the "don't be aversive to" thing, I'd rather do it with Rusty, 'cause I know it'll be top shelf. Stochastic.
Fri Dec 9 20:32:14 PST 2011
Okay, so maybe, "I'm blogging the divorce!" is a little over the top. Besides, I'm already bored with the topic, so shouldn't I have something better to talk about with folks?
Still, I feel an obligation to chronicle at least some of the pertinent facts for any possible litigation.
I checked with triple-A today. And this time they told me she could close down my insurance and they weren't required to so much as think at me much less actually notify me. But there was no such action as of late morning today, and it really would be better to let me give her $30/mo for insurance than to move that account to Signal Hill. On the other hand, I actually living in Signal Hill for the duration, so maybe it's a moot point 'cause I'm professionally bound to provide such material facts.
All of which sounds really more agressive than maybe it should, but I am also beholden to truth as a person, a writer, a creature of God before, during, and after I was sworn in to the Bar.
Still, that said, silence is golden sometimes too. I got my to do list done and a good stab at left overs from yesterday. I was in court, I hung pictures, I didn't cry. I found out there is no case number yet with her name on it and only my divorce with Terry showed up in a name search for me. So, no, I'm not the reason she hasn't served me yet.
Like Holly Hunter in "Home for the Holidays", I just want to stop the carnage. This divorce should be as cheap, easy, and painless as a LegalZoom(tm) (used without permission, contact beau (at) oblios-cap (dot) com if you are the mark owner and are in any way injured or offended). Snark aside, there are no children, there is no real estate or other valuable personal property (considered at "yard sale prices"), no community debt. Once we agree I've got all of my stuff and none of hers we should be able to do a stip judgment with a minimum of fuss.
I just wish I could say so to Gabby's lawyer. Because I really am done. Because I really am done. Because I really am done. What I tell you three times is true.
Out
Thu Dec 8 19:31:04 PST 2011
T'tell the truth, I'm tired. Think I'll turn in. Court in the a.m., Pasadena, thank goodness. Then a little prep for a prospective new client Saturday, then get my freakin' insurance (car) situation settled, as Gabby has expressed her intent to pull that plug tomorrow. Reminds me, I really didn't give all the interesting details on the 60 plus minutes I spent wrangling with Verizon the past two days. Most interesting to me is that it seems the release of my number happened so long ago that while the folks yesterday readily found and affirmed it, the folks today wouldn't double check until I got lawyerly and had a supervisor call in a specialist (that's you, Josephine). I finally got permission to keep my phone, cut my bill to $60-ish a month, unlimted text, month-to-month or "out of contract" as they say. I'm good to upgrade the phone in late February, but they can't begin to promise I can find a feature phone I like as much as my current beater. What can I say, I'm bonded with it a bit. So I'll invoke right action and what will be will be.
I may have mentioned that over at Literotica there is an entire sub-genre of porn writing which tracks strangely close to some of Gabriela's crazier complaints. It's a drag, really. How could I know no how deeply entwined sexy and scary are for some folks. I pretty much always avoided scary. It's scary. I don't like to be any particular feeling at all unless it's actually helping me get where I'm trying to go. I really do strive to neither be attached to nor aversive of the world around me. Doesn't mean I can't get Sucker Punched (apologies for the unavoidable irony of that selection) once in a while.
Not all that was typed made it to the server. That is in search and service of wisdom as best I know how.
Out
Thu Dec 8 17:08:58 PST 2011
I txted my former therapist, my ostensibly soon to be ex-wife, and myself a statement that I was uncomfortable picking up boxes I didn't pack. My exact txt:
Uneasy about receiving
uninspected boxes without
reliable inventory on record
with reliable 3rd party. Please
note cc list. Please advise.
CB: [redacted]To: [redacted]
Sent: Dec 8, 4:57 pmTo: Tomomi Mikawa, M.A.
Sent: Dec 8, 4:57 pmTo: GP
Sent: Dec 8, 4:57 pmTo: klm@robertlink.org
Sent: Dec 8, 4:57 pmGabriela's response:
From: GP
What cc list? you dont make
sense. just come and pick up
your things and stop wasting
time. everything is in the kitchen.
CB: [redacted]
Dec 8, 5:02 pmHer failure to understand the cc list option is all the more ironic in light of a former friend's gaff with "reply all" on her smart phone this morning. Gabby's stuck with an antiquated LG feature phone mostly because I sold her on the value of txting said former mutual friend. She should probably let Katie help her pick her next one (but, fair warning, Katie, don't join your plans!)
(Which is really just a snarky segue into...) I got my phone fixed up today. Give Verizon full marks for eventually getting to the right place, although I did have to get huffy and lawyerly to make it happen.
Gabriela's response says to me she has not really thought through the property division process. Technically the leather furniture is mine, bought with separate property funds for a separate property business and brought into the home for my personal convenience with no transfer of title or transmutation of status. I doubt, under such a view, that one could imagine "all my stuff" being in the kitchen. Which part of my cats will I find there?
I don't mean to be cruel, but I'm also not exactly living the life of Reilly here. I'm not the one living with our benches, our cats, our life, our love. I'm blogging from my mother's garage.
I suppose I ought to shout out to Wonkette, the number one style reference for the unactionably scandalous.
Out
Thu Dec 8 17:04:41 PST 2011
Of course, the "Imagine" part was in remembrance of the passing from this earthly existence John Lennon, thirty years ago tonight. Rest in peace, dear one, your love lives on in song.
Thu Dec 8 16:32:44 PST 2011
Imagine, it's been 30 years...
A casualty of this tiff between Gabriela and me has txted, in pertinent part:
"...I can not believe that you have been stalking Gabby and Katie..."
Wed Dec 7 22:07:59 PST 2011
So sue me.
I managed to work up the nerve to call NLG-LA's main line and ask for the skinny on working with Carol Sobel. The net of that conversation (thanks, btw, to Mike Lee for taking my call) was that there really wasn't much of anything to do. I got a letter from Carol later which I construe as saying the wise choice is to give tomorrow morning a miss. Not like I'm lacking things to do. (Ahem, 10:00 a.m. w/ Wakeman, *$, Monrovia 2.)
Seemed worth logging back in since I hadn't quite got this machine turned off yet. So this time I'll say, "Out" is only "Out for now".
Out
Wed Dec 7 21:52:41 PST 2011
I know, it seems like I'm dancing around something. I'm pretty wigged out by Gabby's text, below. Spent about half an hour with Verizon trying to get my phone reinstated to where it was before Gabriela insisted, "We're married now, let's put everything together, for ever!" (I exaggerate, of course, and one hopes it never becomes material how much or how little.) Verizon is balking at my credit history. I told Erika, the sweet young lady who was helping me, that she might also pass along my bar number and swearing in date, to assist with the credit check, and indirectly suggested I would be happy to write the legal department if it helped smooth things along. Leastways I hope that's how it was taken, that was the intent. Anyway, I'm bugged about the indeterminate status of my cell phone. And yet, why should I be? I've listed the google voice number with the Bar, and I have absolutely zero reason to worry on that particular score. I could only win, even by losing, on that particular tussle. My business hours are logged with the big G, and can always get me if I've told them so (which I have _not_).
I keep losing grooveshark. Gonna switch to a different stream. (So tempted to write, "Barb", but, really, none of the folks who might have nothing better to do tomorrow than read this are actually on line when this particular blog posts. It's a nice illusion, thank you, so please don't tinker with it just at this moment. Please.
On that I think I'm not just out, but out for the night. Thanks all for dropping by (even you cute little spiders!) and I'll make sure to at least tag this bag tomorrow.
Out
Wed Dec 7 21:40:51 PST 2011
Frustrated to find myself saying, still having trouble returning *all* calls before sundown, as per Foonberg (aka, "The Senior Partner"). But am trying to take care of basics, keep my clients' various interests properly sorted and protected, and get enough income to get off my mom's floor. It's just not cute at nigh-50. Protect my license, stay on the square with my insurance (they are double-plus good to me) and help people out of pickles. Deal with what increasingly looks to be the irreparable damage that poor girl is doing to what was and had been and was ever to have been a damned fine marriage of two great people who belonged together. I guess she doesn't think we belong together any more, eh?
Speaking of frustrated, kids, leave the room, well, best to just say here, I dunno if maybe I oughtn't think about clearing the pipes a wee more often? (Nice to have the kids as yet another excuse to scramble my code a little more.)
Wed Dec 7 21:28:50 PST 2011
Still trying to get my own attention, me to me. But everything that comes out of my fingers here sounds like Laing's "Knots", which I somehow don't think is selling as well this week as one could like. And absolutely _everything_ I write here feels like code to me now, now more than ever. It's a grade-A, steel-plated, wait, can my godkid read this? "Howl" is fine and good if you cut your teeth to "The Highwayman" but for most folks it's best to stick to Seuss or ESPN.
No, I did not link to the texts. Please, generate some traffic on a search engine, doesn't really matter a bing (sic) which, just go search for those poems, read them to your Queen, read them to La Luna, read them.
Wed Dec 7 21:19:55 PST 2011
I really think I ought to grant myself permission to just open a blog and let it sit, let one session run into the hours. What, then, would matter more, to whom, why, the timestamp on the name tag or the timestamp on the file being served? I don't rightly know why I should know to care, but I do, which is part of how I got to where I am.
Been reading Minsky's "Societies of Mind" (?) and am feeling a little "chomsky-botted", like neuro-besotted, and, yes, this blog has poetry that doesn't even aspire to be Vogon.
Nonetheless, sentences like the above suggest to me that keeping them to well timed staccato bursts is best. There's a commitment there to form, to process, that will serve me well and help me better serve those I can. Thus, "out", for now.
Out
Wed Dec 7 09:58:58 PST 2011
Part of me feels like the final judgment and marriage settlement agreement hangs in the balance of whether or not I can get a packing list for Sunday. If I can't I don't rightly see why I should lift a finger or stir myself from my torpor sufficient to reply to her text. Oroborous groks I am open to suggestions at the moment if they're positive.
Still broadcasting from my eee (Asus, that is).
Wed Dec 7 09:41:09 PST 2011
From the "Happy Pearl Harbor Day" Department:
From: GP
I have released you phone
number to you and you have
until this friday to resolve
your phone and your car
insurance. as of this friday i
will be removing you from my
bill. if you choose to not keep
your number or a cell phone.
you are still obligated to tell
me when your coming and
going to my house to pick up
your things. everything will be
packed up for you by sunday
and you need to remove the
items as soon as possible. i
warned yo about having an
alarm system now and have
not heard back from you. i will
be leaving it on at night and
leaving it off during the day
so that you can get your
things.
CB: [redacted]
Dec 7, 8:14 amI suppose it is understandable that I am upset. Sometimes I wonder why it hurts so much. Then I wonder if there's something wrong about wondering. I'm sure you know the feeling.
out
.
Wed Dec 7 08:09:07 PST 2011
Showered, yea! Laundry in the wash, double yea! Updating this file really quick while I wait for the wifi to get going. (Cue Inigo Montoya, "I hate waiting.")
Hoping today is as productive as yesterday. Still conscious of this being a public space. Can't say anything here I wouldn't want to say in court, sort of. Certainly can't say anything here that I wouldn't want to see in court. Like my phone, this blog is probably as much a tool of the prosecution as it is of it's writer. That is simply the way of the world. (But we fight against it just the same.)
With luck I'll hear from NLG-LA today with some deliverable for Thursday court. Keeping fingers crossed.
Tue Dec 6 22:11:40 PST 2011
That "Cowboys and Aliens" movie sure does go from soft to loud. I keep thinking it's over then getting my wits scared out of me by one last loud bang. Yeesh.
Failed to mention earlier the tlc I'm enjoying here in Signal Hill. It seems wrong to tender a laundry list, but the spirit of generosity bears frequent mention and heartfelt thanks.
I logged in to comment on a snippet from Marvin Minsky's 1985, "The Society of Mind". Wish I'd got this the same time I got "Frogs Into Princes". I might have had a very different career.
Minsky's 9.4 ENJOYING DISCOMFORT happens to touch on themes from last night, specifically the pain/pleasure versus the damage/nourish maps. I argue that the damage/nourish map is primal, that pain/pleasure is but a poor attempt to correlate experience with the first level. Seems to me, honestly, that this particular kind of reduction valve is a mistake, a variation not yet proved lethal but not long for any world. That's a terribly depressing thing to say at the best of times, but I have not for quite some time been willing to flex my 1st Amendment rights and actually say so lest someone weaker soul be shaken by my implacable nihilism. But it's not meant to be bleak. It always starts out sunny and flowery. It's only when too many words get on the bandwagon that things start to look institutional.
Am I still afraid of arrest? Jail? The mental hospital? What do I fear? Pain. Incapacity. Hurting others.
I will catch my share of grief, no doubt, for this particular practice, this bout of writing I've taken on for no other reason than it is good for me to write and good practice writing in this grey-zone.
From Minksy (but it sure sounds of Lovecraft to me):
It is the same for doing mathematics, climbing freezing mountain peaks, or playing pipe organs with one's feet: some parts of the mind find it horrible, while other parts enjoy forcing those first parts to work for them(emphasis in original)
I can't help thinking Grinder was familiar with Minsky and perhaps even this particular book when he, Grinder, did the "Turtles All the Way Down" lectures. It groks a lot alike to me.
Bedtime now. Beads first, of course. Blessings to all.
Tue Dec 6 21:19:18 PST 2011
Would you care to explain, who is the gaucho, amigo? Why is he standing...studs that match your eyes.
"Cowboys and Aliens" from my upstairs neighbor competes with Steely Dan here in my cube. He's got better speakers upstairs, but I've got you.
Divorce news: Gabriela called to let me know she's put in an alarm system (paid for by Alonso, no doubt) but that she's not arming it by day, so I can come in and get whatever I need from the house. I can only assume she is not yet reading this blog. Pity.
I mean, really, pity. I feel sorry for us both, but I am moving forward, trying to keep my nascent practice (and, not to put too fine a point on it, future happiness) beating and breathing. I don't know where she's at, but I can't think it's any place good, and that makes me really sad.
Anyway, I can't help hearing her voice mail in the context of seeing that Honda in our parking spot yesterday. I don't really know who belongs to that license plate, so I really can't say anything of much interest about anyone, not on this level of investigation.
Remember how scared George Bailey was of scandal? Bob Mattingly knew.
Yeah, that last sentence bugs a bit. Knew what? Says who? On what evidence? All I know for sure is I heard fourth or fifth hand that he killed himself rather than face the DCS investigation I instigated. Probably a police record somewhere, but does anyone really care enough to order copies? FOIA? Subpoena?
Sacrilege to some, but I'm really not that impressed with Michael McDonald on this disc. I mean, sure, he's got a more polished sound than Fagan, but so what? Fagan's an artist, he doesn't have to sound any one flavor of "good" at any particular time. But McDonald? Meh.
It's odd, true, this grey-zone private public venue, trying to find a voice and level of disclosure (and cryptology) proper for things that are either undeniably fiction or undeniably public knowledge. While we're making more noise than we should, can I ask again how anyone who ever heard the word "kamikaze" was surprised to see planes used as weapons? I know, that's arguably a "tripping balls" observation, but that just means it needs cut-and-paste to the proper context. Oroborous groks, you can be sure.
Tue Dec 6 07:27:27 PST 2011
This is one of those, "If I don't get back to it today, at least I've put up a post." I'm never really happy with that kind of "letter of the law" approach to things, but there it is. I've a wide open day, beyond laundry I'm not sure where I'll end up today (although "Drinking Liberally" in Pasadena looks as good as ever for a Tuesday night).
Mostly I'm just tired. It's a pain in the ass, living on Mum's floor, trying to make something resembling a minimalist office in her garage, trying to keep enough on my plate to keep me from going crazy thinking about the mess Gabby is making of our lives. Well, my life. She seems to be sitting pretty in our new home.
I drove by Ms. Phillips' house last night shortly before 20:00. She wasn't there, the lights were out, the trash cans were waiting at the curb for someone to take them in. I could convince myself the place was slightly neglected, as if Ms. Phillips were staying out of town, but it could just be that she was working late and hadn't made it home yet. I suppose my greatest fear was that I would see Gabby's Jeep in the driveway or some such.
Well, time to get moving, shower, laundry, coffee, more or less in reverse order.
Mon Dec 5 23:08:35 PST 2011
Really makes me feel vindicated for my notions about the would-be "Socratic" method as portrayed by Houseman in "The Paper Chase". It's about dominance. Okay. But, really, so fucking what? I said decades ago that Robbins' success owed as much to acromegaly as to any skill set known to man or Gods. That is to say, I know how much the "chemistry set" and "primates" talk is and isn't good for. This show is carried by one thing, Maggie Gyllenhall's flawless, amazing, incomparable face. 'Swhy some shorter folk fence low-line.
Nice Natalie Merchant placement for the bath.
Okay, yes, I admit, that's the kind of lover I try to be, minus the creepy factor that comes from anything this celebrated. I don't like being accused of creepy, but if my Queen was pleased I would care not what was said about me by any other.
Anyway, even with Spader, hell, it could've been anyone, I'd have hated him for getting closer to her than I ever could. But, then, I would have my Queen for myself, aye?
Okay, she put a big ass cockroach in his bed. Eeww! Fade to black? Credits? Jesus, no, aaahhhhhh.
Well, I've seen the end now. Sleepy time. More sublimations anon or even on the morrow. Out.
Mon Dec 5 22:27:48 PST 2011
Part of the trouble, of course, is I really am still trying to live up to my part of the bargain, of the wedding vows, of the two times I married her. At the same time I'm juggling all the interests to which I am beholden in a fiduciary capacity. Add to the balls in the air my seeming obsession with a long dormant book project for which I fear I will have clearance issues with both friend and foe alike. And I have to keep my individual clients' interests ahead of my own, at least to the extent required by law and probably a whole lot more spiritually. All of which is to say, I married her, twice, got sworn in to practice law, and life was supposed to be different. I was supposed to be a man instead of a pacifier. Turns out she really prefers the pacifier. If so, I really can't do much about it, except try to handle my self and my affairs in a manner that would earn Hippocrates' approval and, where consistent with said approval, brighten the corner where I live as best I can.
Part of that includes writing. I have taken on the practice, for at least the season, of plain old blogging. It's ugly, it's stream of consciousness, it's hastily edited on the fly for disclosures and improprieties while at the same time diving deep into the experimental and decidedly NSFW unless you've got a booth at the Convention Center on the 9th. (And, ahem, if you do, I can fold chairs, sweep, whatever, this side of jizz-mopping. See email addy above.)
Mon Dec 5 22:01:42 PST 2011
Can't seem to get off the movie, which I just almost might finish tonight. She's putting an earthworm into a letter, which puts as at just barely past the self-spanking attempt. This movie is way too fucking hot.
And I know Katie'll hate this flick. Maggie's not only humping a dude instead of a gal, she's listening to Cake! "Ick!" says Katie. Trust me.
For me, 'though, it's the "Carousel" angle. I dissed that classic really hard, not just for having Mrs. Partridge in it, but for being apologist for domestic violence. So too for "Secretary", one would think, but, no, somehow it's different. It's real true but just fake enough to support my "take the good with the bad" approach, but just also enough of a howto for, well, reluctance and abuse, that maybe I'm a bit wiggy on it. But...
The notions proffered on the "coming out" tape came close, but queered some important distinctions. We avoid that which damages, we approach that which nourishes. Pain and pleasure are proto-symbolic overlays on the primal damage-nourish line. Damage-nourish will always trump pleasure-pain...in time. In time the unavoidable statistical relationship of pain to damage takes it's toll, like the dealer standing on 16. So the "coming out" is predicated on a "needing to be in" for a syndrome itself but a by-product of not properly parsing the layers of the map.
Point being, then, that as mind-blowingly hot as this flick is, they are attempting art, not porn, and I say they get the gold star, certainly far more so than that terrible Madonna and Christ (get it, "Last Temptation..." and "Material Girl"?).
I find it odd that I identify with any guy that might possible get it on with Maggie, in any lighting, at any distance. "I told you, I'm not going to fuck you", in Spader's perfectly sepulchral best, earning a top shot at voicing the Vision on whatever terms he wants.
I was right to never really think twice about Paris Hilton's sex tapes, but, honestly, Maggie's done true, true art. It's what Smith wishes "Zack and Miri..." had been.
Mon Dec 5 21:49:24 PST 2011
"The lock can come off of the cabinet now." No, not Lovecraft, not even by way of the Darko Worm Tunnel of celebrity. "Secretary". Maggie. Yum.
Gonna let this entry run for a bit, makes me feel like I'm fudging my time stamp. I oughtta be able to run a single post to ten minutes, shouldn't I? Or must this all be at that "snow falling from bamboo" at all times?
I thought the carrot and sidle was a bit over the top. But I haven't yet finished the damned flick, and it's just good enough so far as to maybe not be gratuitous but, rather, foreshadowing.
I sure dig Lee's dreams, 'cept for the dufus. Put that picture face down boys!
Mon Dec 5 21:41:07 PST 2011
So what _is_ going on with the sewing kit and the band aids? Best ever filmed but uncredited Ericksonian work? Close second to Heinlein's "Cat on the Sill" therapy story? "Why do you cut yourself, Lee?"
Truth is, I normally couldn't bear this film. I normally draw the line at bloodshed, which makes flicks about cutters a little more than statistically normal taboo.
Does the Cryptographer's Daughter grok the contextualized significance of the type of typewriter? Not font, but manufacturer? It was banned because the ball always returned to a measurable "home".
But folks don't think twice about interface reporters. Grokking Oroborous! Spanking Good, eh?! "Get your face close to the letter, and then read it aloud."
Mon Dec 5 21:33:34 PST 2011
Ouroborous Groks "Secretary" as "My Fair Lady", with a slightly pared down cast.
Mon Dec 5 12:03:42 PST 2011
Is Katie Phillips Staying in Monrovia?
Rumor has it a silver Honda with California license plate number 4HAV807 was seen this morning at 151 Acacia (parked in the center of the pad where neither lease signatory was typically allowed to park when both were ostensibly still domiciled there).
This sighting, of course, comes on the heels of conversations over the previous week in which Ms. Perezmartinez was strongly encouraged to stop prancing around and serve me already, another in which she said, "You know you can get your things any time", and a Monday morning visit to my service of process address where I confirmed a) I am not the only attorney for whom they provide such services, b) they are aware that the terms of the contract only require them to notify me if I no longer have an active business relationship with them.
Helicopter overhead. What with the streets all still being blown up by the wind storm last week, I reckon folks are more jumpy about them than usual. But this close to the Pasadena PD one would expect to hear them pretty often.
I was on the phone with Shawn Holt when I spotted Katie's car at my place. Gabby seems to be making the most out of her narrative that she has kicked me out for various and sundry reasons, but the fact remains that it was I who left her, intending it only for the night or maybe not even that long if she calmed down and came to her senses in time. I left after hearing her work herself up to the point where she said, "And the _worst_ part? *You*Locked*The*Door!*" That's when I decided the chance of one of us goading the other into something bad was such that we were both better served by my beating as hasty and smooth a retreat as could be effectuated. I grabbed my computer bag and my car keys. Been living like a nomad ever since. That's three weeks tomorrow night? Earliest date of separation she can factually support, especially in light of the new rental and continued therapy, is November 15.
Last I heard Alonso was slated to leave December 15.
By my best recollection Ms. Perezmartinez's next "PMS Week" should begin on or about December 10, menses on or about December 17, and thus have a window of relative sanity on or about December 24. Merry fucking Christmas. (And Happy Anniversary, Robert and Terry).
Out.
Sun Dec 4 07:06:16 PST 2011
I can't help wondering in a weird way if Gabby's flip out was also related to the breaking Penn State story, which seemed to crest right in time with my re-kindling of the "What's Not to Like" project. Between her personal issues and general family feelings about songbirds I can see why that might add fuel to her fire.
Something I've said to a fair few people is that I also dig, given how hard Gabriela has been working on her issues, truly, substantively, genuinely working on those issues in both private and couple's therapy, living in a house with all my books on hypnosis and con jobs and LSD and the rest must really stir up her many, many personal demons. Having said it as often as I have I thought it best to put it here too.
Sun Dec 4 06:19:29 PST 2011
A beautiful if slightly chilly Sunday morning in Laguna. Perhaps I can get a better entry now than yesterday.
I am visiting with my good friends Mike and Deb Skerly. I've known Mike for going on 20 years, and Deb for about as long as they've been together, which is over a decade. They've had their ups and downs, business-wise, but have always managed a standard of living most would envy. Add to that the way they seem to work so well together and the envy factor goes up considerably. They're good people and good friends, sad about how things are going with Gabriela, but firm in their support of whatever is actually best for me, while still wishing only the best for her.
So anxious to get a better writing session in that I failed to do my beads before getting started. Will remedy that now...
Sat Dec 3 22:23:49 PST 2011
Yesterday I suggested daily writing. This won't publish until tomorrow most likely, but I'm writing. Watching "Secretary", with Maggie something-hal. I think she is her generation and gender's Alec Guinness. See the film.
Fri Dec 2 06:50:44 PST 2011
Sometime towards the end of the 20th century I lost my wife. I had been at the time in the habit of journaling, and I was working on a book length writing project dealing with molestation issues, and one section of that work included a consensual encounter between a young man barely seventeen and a family friend pushing thirty. To help with the tone of this section I was, in my journal, practicing how to write "racy", and to that end was very open and disclosing about certain fantasies I had regarding certain women. I never acted on those fantasies, never came close, nor tried. It was sufficient to fantasize. But while I was away on work my then wife, now deceased, read that journal. She claimed the notebook fell to the floor, open, when our cat, spooked by a thunder storm, went careening over my desk, and I tended to accept that at face value, which, on typing this sentence, begins to look a little stupid of me.
So my departed 2nd wife read my journal, and all hell broke loose. I hadn't known about her jealous tendencies, but I learned. I learned that I would not be able to network or sell because she was deathly afraid some woman I met while marketing myself as a hypnotist would steal me away from her.
I wonder now how much of that same vibration I missed in Gabriela. It manifest first and foremost in a jealousy of my friend and paralegal, but I recall now how jealous she was of my coworkers when we met, especially the ones I was friendliest with. I admit, I often find myself on better terms with my women co-workers than with my men co-workers. Women rarely require me to pretend to know or care about sports, which is explanation enough. I understand how that adds fuel to any jealousy fire that might already be smoldering in someone's heart.
None of which was on my mind when I opened this entry, but as Ms. Sher points out, one never knows what one will write until one is writing it, and that discovery process is a feature, not a bug. What was on my mind when I started up the computer is that I am not accustomed to writing with filters or self-censoring. But, as I ease into my second year of practice as a lawyer, I am coming to grips with the reality that something can be said candidly in a venue like this, other things must only be spoken of in code, and still others simply must never be said at all. I can only write, especially here, with a clear understanding that I must submit to a level of restraint which seems at odds with the full and open disclosure with which I used to journal. As Ms. West once said, "Keep a diary, and one day it will keep you".
How do I square that with a season's practice of writing? I'm not sure, but I know that the incident with my deceased wife reading my notebook left me unwilling even to journal, and so writing here with constraints seems a better bet than letting go my writing.
Fri Dec 2 00:10:57 PST 2011
Okay, that's two out of three. But my non-practice email is holding me up a bit. Small price to pay to read it in mutt.
Fri Dec 2 00:00:47 PST 2011
- post to blog
- check practice email
- all calls returned by first-starlight
Thu Dec 1 23:40:30 PST 2011
T'ell the truth, it sometimes felt like she was saying, "Law or me!" just like she did with pot back in aught-three. Not that she ever said any such thing (about law). But everything seemed like a steel-cage death match with that woman, even obvious things like marketing and referral service costs. Still, I think the practice is in the black for its first year, My soon to be Ex wife's best efforts to the contrary notwithstanding.
Thu Dec 1 22:54:01 PST 2011
I should probably point out that I"m adding question marks to the validation links. It has been quite some time since I took the time to correct all those errors. Usually easier to just mothball the project and start fresh.
In other news, fate has arranged for me to up late enough to make tomorrow's post in about 66 minutes...
Thu Dec 1 22:48:55 PST 2011
I think the resolution for the Winter will be daily writing in addition to my current dailies. Might as well start now.
As of about 10:30 this morning I am no longer a "newly minted" attorney. I have graduated to "newish". And my wife is divorcing me.
Yeah, that's a little heavy. If you didn't know before, apologies for the surprise. I'm blogging my divorce. I got here first. "One - nuthin'!"
Sat Nov 12 00:53:33 EST 2011
Cannot at this time find:
%22the+cuy+cuy+chair%22
Not that I think anyone ever thought to look there before night before last. h/t AP, fils.
Thu Nov 10 23:23:28 PST 2011
"I know, you ask yourself, how could this possible be easier?
And there are good, plausible, credible answers, if ease were the
criterion. Ease is a-but-not-the criterion, the never ending sєarch for
wisdom in spite of ourselves being also on the list."
-- from the forthcoming
Oblio's Cap
Mon Nov 7 21:05:19 PST 2011
Ouroborous is the Serpent Phoenix.
-- from the forthcoming Oblio's Cap
Fri Nov 4 05:07:14 PDT 2011
tweeted last night:
Ourorobous groks -- from the forthcoming Oblio's Cap
Mon Oct 31 01:04:29 EDT 2011
Top Rated Reading:
CRAIGSLIST TERMS OF USE 1. ACCEPTANCE OF TERMS craigslist provides a collection of online resources, including classified ads, forums, and various email services, (referred to hereafter as "the Service") subject to the following Terms of Use ("TOU"). By using the Service in any way, you are agreeing to comply with the TOU. In addition, when using particular craigslist services, you agree to abide by any applicable posted guidelines for all craigslist services, which may change from time to time. Should you object to any term or condition of the TOU, any guidelines, or any subsequent modifications thereto or become dissatisfied with craigslist in any way, your only recourse is to immediately discontinue use of craigslist. craigslist has the right, but is not obligated, to strictly enforce the TOU through self-help, community moderation, active investigation, litigation and prosecution. 2. MODIFICATIONS TO THIS AGREEMENT We reserve the right, at our sole discretion, to change, modify or otherwise alter these terms and conditions at any time. Such modifications shall become effective immediately upon the posting thereof. You must review this agreement on a regular basis to keep yourself apprised of any changes. You can find the most recent version of the TOU at: http://www.craigslist.org/about/terms.of.use.html 3. CONTENT You understand that all postings, messages, text, files, images, photos, video, sounds, or other materials ("Content") posted on, transmitted through, or linked from the Service, are the sole responsibility of the person from whom such Content originated. More specifically, you are entirely responsible for each individual item ("Item") of Content that you post, email or otherwise make available via the Service. You understand that craigslist does not control, and is not responsible for Content made available through the Service, and that by using the Service, you may be exposed to Content that is offensive, indecent, inaccurate, misleading, or otherwise objectionable. Furthermore, the craigslist site and Content available through the Service may contain links to other websites, which are completely independent of craigslist. craigslist makes no representation or warranty as to the accuracy, completeness or authenticity of the information contained in any such site. Your linking to any other webites is at your own risk. You agree that you must evaluate, and bear all risks associated with, the use of any Content, that you may not rely on said Content, and that under no circumstances will craigslist be liable in any way for any Content or for any loss or damage of any kind incurred as a result of the use of any Content posted, emailed or otherwise made available via the Service. You acknowledge that craigslist does not pre-screen or approve Content, but that craigslist shall have the right (but not the obligation) in its sole discretion to refuse, delete or move any Content that is available via the Service, for violating the letter or spirit of the TOU or for any other reason. 4. THIRD PARTY CONTENT, SITES, AND SERVICES The craigslist site and Content available through the Service may contain features and functionalities that may link you or provide you with access to third party content which is completely independent of craigslist, including web sites, directories, servers, networks, systems, information and databases, applications, software, programs, products or services, and the Internet as a whole. Your interactions with organizations and/or individuals found on or through the Service, including payment and delivery of goods or services, and any other terms, conditions, warranties or representations associated with such dealings, are solely between you and such organizations and/or individuals. You should make whatever investigation you feel necessary or appropriate before proceeding with any online or offline transaction with any of these third parties. You agree that craigslist shall not be responsible or liable for any loss or damage of any sort incurred as the result of any such dealings. If there is a dispute between participants on this site, or between users and any third party, you understand and agree that craigslist is under no obligation to become involved. In the event that you have a dispute with one or more other users, you hereby release craigslist, its officers, employees, agents and successors in rights from claims, demands and damages (actual and consequential) of every kind or nature, known or unknown, suspected and unsuspected, disclosed and undisclosed, arising out of or in any way related to such disputes and / or our service. If you are a California resident, you waive California Civil Code Section 1542, which says: "A general release does not extend to claims which the creditor does not know or suspect to exist in his favor at the time of executing the release, which, if known by him must have materially affected his settlement with the debtor." 5. NOTIFICATION OF CLAIMS OF INFRINGEMENT If you believe that your work has been copied in a way that constitutes copyright infringement, or your intellectual property rights have been otherwise violated, please notify craigslist's agent for notice of claims of copyright or other intellectual property infringement ("Agent"), at abuse@craigslist.org or: Copyright Agent craigslist 1381 9th Avenue San Francisco, CA 94122 Please provide our Agent with the following Notice: a) Identify the material on the craigslist site that you claim is infringing, with enough detail so that we may locate it on the website; b) A statement by you that you have a good faith belief that the disputed use is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law; c) A statement by you declaring under penalty of perjury that (1) the above information in your Notice is accurate, and (2) that you are the owner of the copyright interest involved or that you are authorized to act on behalf of that owner; d) Your address, telephone number, and email address; and e) Your physical or electronic signature. craigslist will remove the infringing posting(s), subject to the the procedures outlined in the Digital Millenium Copyright Act (DMCA). 6. PRIVACY AND INFORMATION DISCLOSURE craigslist has established a Privacy Policy to explain to users how their information is collected and used, which is located at the following web address: http://www.craigslist.org/about/privacy_policy Your use of the craigslist website or the Service signifies acknowledgement of and agreement to our Privacy Policy. You further acknowledge and agree that craigslist may, in its sole discretion, preserve or disclose your Content, as well as your information, such as email addresses, IP addresses, timestamps, and other user information, if required to do so by law or in the good faith belief that such preservation or disclosure is reasonably necessary to: comply with legal process; enforce the TOU; respond to claims that any Content violates the rights of third-parties; respond to claims that contact information (e.g. phone number, street address) of a third-party has been posted or transmitted without their consent or as a form of harassment; protect the rights, property, or personal safety of craigslist, its users or the general public. 7. CONDUCT You agree not to post, email, or otherwise make available Content: a) that is unlawful, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, defamatory, libelous, invasive of another's privacy, or is harmful to minors in any way; b) that is pornographic or depicts a human being engaged in actual sexual conduct including but not limited to (i) sexual intercourse, including genital-genital, oral-genital, anal-genital, or oral-anal, whether between persons of the same or opposite sex, or (ii) bestiality, or (iii) masturbation, or (iv) sadistic or masochistic abuse, or (v) lascivious exhibition of the genitals or pubic area of any person; c) that harasses, degrades, intimidates or is hateful toward an individual or group of individuals on the basis of religion, gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, age, or disability; d) that violates the Fair Housing Act by stating, in any notice or ad for the sale or rental of any dwelling, a discriminatory preference based on race, color, national origin, religion, sex, familial status or handicap (or violates any state or local law prohibiting discrimination on the basis of these or other characteristics); e) that violates federal, state, or local equal employment opportunity laws, including but not limited to, stating in any advertisement for employment a preference or requirement based on race, color, religion, sex, national origin, age, or disability. f) with respect to employers that employ four or more employees, that violates the anti-discrimination provision of the Immigration and Nationality Act, including requiring U.S. citizenship or lawful permanent residency (green card status) as a condition for employment, unless otherwise required in order to comply with law, regulation, executive order, or federal, state, or local government contract. g) that impersonates any person or entity, including, but not limited to, a craigslist employee, or falsely states or otherwise misrepresents your affiliation with a person or entity (this provision does not apply to Content that constitutes lawful non-deceptive parody of public figures.); h) that includes personal or identifying information about another person without that person's explicit consent; i) that is false, deceptive, misleading, deceitful, misinformative, or constitutes "bait and switch"; j) that infringes any patent, trademark, trade secret, copyright or other proprietary rights of any party, or Content that you do not have a right to make available under any law or under contractual or fiduciary relationships; k) that constitutes or contains "affiliate marketing," "link referral code," "junk mail," "spam," "chain letters," "pyramid schemes," or unsolicited commercial advertisement; l) that constitutes or contains any form of advertising or solicitation if: posted in areas of the craigslist sites which are not designated for such purposes; or emailed to craigslist users who have not indicated in writing that it is ok to contact them about other services, products or commercial interests. m) that includes links to commercial services or web sites, except as allowed in "services"; n) that advertises any illegal service or the sale of any items the sale of which is prohibited or restricted by any applicable law, including without limitation items the sale of which is prohibited or regulated by California law. A partial list of prohibited items for sale and prohibited services offered is provided at the following web address for your convenience: http://craigslist.org/about/prohibited.items.html o) that contains software viruses or any other computer code, files or programs designed to interrupt, destroy or limit the functionality of any computer software or hardware or telecommunications equipment; p) that disrupts the normal flow of dialogue with an excessive amount of Content (flooding attack) to the Service, or that otherwise negatively affects other users' ability to use the Service; or q) that employs misleading email addresses, or forged headers or otherwise manipulated identifiers in order to disguise the origin of Content transmitted through the Service. Additionally, you agree not to: r) contact anyone who has asked not to be contacted, or make unsolicited contact with anyone for any commercial purpose; s) "stalk" or otherwise harass anyone; t) collect personal data about other users for commercial or unlawful purposes; u) use automated means, including spiders, robots, crawlers, data mining tools, or the like to download data from the Service - unless expressly permitted by craigslist; v) post non-local or otherwise irrelevant Content, repeatedly post the same or similar Content or otherwise impose an unreasonable or disproportionately large load on our infrastructure; w) post the same item or service in more than one classified category or forum, or in more than one metropolitan area; x) attempt to gain unauthorized access to craigslist's computer systems or engage in any activity that disrupts, diminishes the quality of, interferes with the performance of, or impairs the functionality of, the Service or the craigslist website; or y) use any form of automated device or computer program that enables the submission of postings on craigslist without each posting being manually entered by the author thereof (an "automated posting device"), including without limitation, the use of any such automated posting device to submit postings in bulk, or for automatic submission of postings at regular intervals. z) use any form of automated device or computer program ("flagging tool") that enables the use of craigslist's "flagging system" or other community moderation systems without each flag being manually entered by the person that initiates the flag (an "automated flagging device"), or use the flagging tool to remove posts of competitors, or to remove posts without a good faith belief that the post being flagged violates these TOU; 8. POSTING AGENTS A "Posting Agent" is a third-party agent, service, or intermediary that offers to post Content to the Service on behalf of others. To moderate demands on craigslist's resources, you may not use a Posting Agent to post Content to the Service without express permission or license from craigslist. Correspondingly, Posting Agents are not permitted to post Content on behalf of others, to cause Content to be so posted, or otherwise access the Service to facilitate posting Content on behalf of others, except with express permission or license from craigslist. 9. NO SPAM POLICY You understand and agree that sending unsolicited email advertisements to craigslist email addresses or through craigslist computer systems, which is expressly prohibited by these Terms, will use or cause to be used servers located in California. Any unauthorized use of craigslist computer systems is a violation of these Terms and certain federal and state laws, including without limitation the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act (18 U.S.C. § 1030 et seq.), Section 502 of the California Penal Code and Section 17538.45 of the California Business and Professions Code. Such violations may subject the sender and his or her agents to civil and criminal penalties. 10. PAID POSTINGS We may charge a fee to post Content in some areas of the Service. The fee is an access fee permitting Content to be posted in a designated area. Each party posting Content to the Service is responsible for said Content and compliance with the TOU. All fees paid will be non-refundable in the event that Content is removed from the Service for violating the TOU. 11. LIMITATIONS ON SERVICE You acknowledge that craigslist may establish limits concerning use of the Service, including the maximum number of days that Content will be retained by the Service, the maximum number and size of postings, email messages, or other Content that may be transmitted or stored by the Service, and the frequency with which you may access the Service. You agree that craigslist has no responsibility or liability for the deletion or failure to store any Content maintained or transmitted by the Service. You acknowledge that craigslist reserves the right at any time to modify or discontinue the Service (or any part thereof) with or without notice, and that craigslist shall not be liable to you or to any third party for any modification, suspension or discontinuance of the Service. 12. ACCESS TO THE SERVICE craigslist grants you a limited, revocable, nonexclusive license to access the Service for your own personal use. This license does not include: (a) access to the Service by Posting Agents; or (b) any collection, aggregation, copying, duplication, display or derivative use of the Service nor any use of data mining, robots, spiders, or similar data gathering and extraction tools for any purpose unless expressly permitted by craigslist. A limited exception to (b) is provided to general purpose internet search engines and non-commercial public archives that use such tools to gather information for the sole purpose of displaying hyperlinks to the Service, provided they each do so from a stable IP address or range of IP addresses using an easily identifiable agent and comply with our robots.txt file. "General purpose internet search engine" does not include a website or search engine or other service that specializes in classified listings or in any subset of classifieds listings such as jobs, housing, for sale, services, or personals, or which is in the business of providing classified ad listing services. craigslist permits you to display on your website, or create a hyperlink on your website to, individual postings on the Service so long as such use is for noncommercial and/or news reporting purposes only (e.g., for use in personal web blogs or personal online media). If the total number of such postings displayed or linked to on your website exceeds one hundred (100) postings, your use will be presumed to be in violation of the TOU, absent express permission granted by craigslist to do so. You may also create a hyperlink to the home page of craigslist sites so long as the link does not portray craigslist, its employees, or its affiliates in a false, misleading, derogatory, or otherwise offensive matter. craigslist offers various parts of the Service in RSS format so that users can embed individual feeds into a personal website or blog, or view postings through third party software news aggregators. craigslist permits you to display, excerpt from, and link to the RSS feeds on your personal website or personal web blog, provided that (a) your use of the RSS feed is for personal, non-commercial purposes only, (b) each title is correctly linked back to the original post on the Service and redirects the user to the post when the user clicks on it, (c) you provide, adjacent to the RSS feed, proper attribution to 'craigslist' as the source, (d) your use or display does not suggest that craigslist promotes or endorses any third party causes, ideas, web sites, products or services, (e) you do not redistribute the RSS feed, and (f) your use does not overburden craigslist's systems. craigslist reserves all rights in the content of the RSS feeds and may terminate any RSS feed at any time. Use of the Service beyond the scope of authorized access granted to you by craigslist immediately terminates said permission or license. In order to collect, aggregate, copy, duplicate, display or make derivative use of the the Service or any Content made available via the Service for other purposes (including commercial purposes) not stated herein, you must first obtain a license from craigslist. 13. TERMINATION OF SERVICE You agree that craigslist, in its sole discretion, has the right (but not the obligation) to delete or deactivate your account, block your email or IP address, or otherwise terminate your access to or use of the Service (or any part thereof), immediately and without notice, and remove and discard any Content within the Service, for any reason, including, without limitation, if craigslist believes that you have acted inconsistently with the letter or spirit of the TOU. Further, you agree that craigslist shall not be liable to you or any third-party for any termination of your access to the Service. Further, you agree not to attempt to use the Service after said termination. Sections 2, 4, 6 and 10-16 shall survive termination of the TOU. 14. PROPRIETARY RIGHTS The Service is protected to the maximum extent permitted by copyright laws and international treaties. Content displayed on or through the Service is protected by copyright as a collective work and/or compilation, pursuant to copyrights laws, and international conventions. Any reproduction, modification, creation of derivative works from or redistribution of the site or the collective work, and/or copying or reproducing the sites or any portion thereof to any other server or location for further reproduction or redistribution is prohibited without the express written consent of craigslist. You further agree not to reproduce, duplicate or copy Content from the Service without the express written consent of craigslist, and agree to abide by any and all copyright notices displayed on the Service. You may not decompile or disassemble, reverse engineer or otherwise attempt to discover any source code contained in the Service. Without limiting the foregoing, you agree not to reproduce, duplicate, copy, sell, resell or exploit for any commercial purposes, any aspect of the Service. CRAIGSLIST is a registered mark in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. Although craigslist does not claim ownership of content that its users post, by posting Content to any public area of the Service, you automatically grant, and you represent and warrant that you have the right to grant, to craigslist an irrevocable, perpetual, non-exclusive, fully paid, worldwide license to use, copy, perform, display, and distribute said Content and to prepare derivative works of, or incorporate into other works, said Content, and to grant and authorize sublicenses (through multiple tiers) of the foregoing. Furthermore, by posting Content to any public area of the Service, you automatically grant craigslist all rights necessary to prohibit any subsequent aggregation, display, copying, duplication, reproduction, or exploitation of the Content on the Service by any party for any purpose. 15. DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTIES YOU AGREE THAT USE OF THE CRAIGSLIST SITE AND THE SERVICE IS ENTIRELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. THE CRAIGSLIST SITE AND THE SERVICE ARE PROVIDED ON AN "AS IS" OR "AS AVAILABLE" BASIS, WITHOUT ANY WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND. ALL EXPRESS AND IMPLIED WARRANTIES, INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, THE WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, AND NON-INFRINGEMENT OF PROPRIETARY RIGHTS ARE EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMED TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW. TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW, CRAIGSLIST DISCLAIMS ANY WARRANTIES FOR THE SECURITY, RELIABILITY, TIMELINESS, ACCURACY, AND PERFORMANCE OF THE CRAIGSLIST SITE AND THE SERVICE. TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW, CRAIGSLIST DISCLAIMS ANY WARRANTIES FOR OTHER SERVICES OR GOODS RECEIVED THROUGH OR ADVERTISED ON THE CRAIGSLIST SITE OR THE SITES OR SERVICE, OR ACCESSED THROUGH ANY LINKS ON THE CRAIGSLIST SITE. TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW, CRAIGSLIST DISCLAIMS ANY WARRANTIES FOR VIRUSES OR OTHER HARMFUL COMPONENTS IN CONNECTION WITH THE CRAIGSLIST SITE OR THE SERVICE. Some jurisdictions do not allow the disclaimer of implied warranties. In such jurisdictions, some of the foregoing disclaimers may not apply to you insofar as they relate to implied warranties. 16. LIMITATIONS OF LIABILITY UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHALL CRAIGSLIST BE LIABLE FOR DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, CONSEQUENTIAL OR EXEMPLARY DAMAGES (EVEN IF CRAIGSLIST HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES), RESULTING FROM ANY ASPECT OF YOUR USE OF THE CRAIGSLIST SITE OR THE SERVICE, WHETHER THE DAMAGES ARISE FROM USE OR MISUSE OF THE CRAIGSLIST SITE OR THE SERVICE, FROM INABILITY TO USE THE CRAIGSLIST SITE OR THE SERVICE, OR THE INTERRUPTION, SUSPENSION, MODIFICATION, ALTERATION, OR TERMINATION OF THE CRAIGSLIST SITE OR THE SERVICE. SUCH LIMITATION SHALL ALSO APPLY WITH RESPECT TO DAMAGES INCURRED BY REASON OF OTHER SERVICES OR PRODUCTS RECEIVED THROUGH OR ADVERTISED IN CONNECTION WITH THE CRAIGSLIST SITE OR THE SERVICE OR ANY LINKS ON THE CRAIGSLIST SITE, AS WELL AS BY REASON OF ANY INFORMATION OR ADVICE RECEIVED THROUGH OR ADVERTISED IN CONNECTION WITH THE CRAIGSLIST SITE OR THE SERVICE OR ANY LINKS ON THE CRAIGSLIST SITE. THESE LIMITATIONS SHALL APPLY TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW. In some jurisdictions, limitations of liability are not permitted. In such jurisdictions, some of the foregoing limitation may not apply to you. 17. INDEMNITY You agree to indemnify and hold craigslist, its officers, subsidiaries, affiliates, successors, assigns, directors, officers, agents, service providers, suppliers and employees, harmless from any claim or demand, including reasonable attorney fees and court costs, made by any third party due to or arising out of Content you submit, post or make available through the Service, your use of the Service, your violation of the TOU, your breach of any of the representations and warranties herein, or your violation of any rights of another. 18. GENERAL INFORMATION The TOU constitute the entire agreement between you and craigslist and govern your use of the Service, superceding any prior agreements between you and craigslist. The TOU and the relationship between you and craigslist shall be governed by the laws of the State of California without regard to its conflict of law provisions. You and craigslist agree to submit to the personal and exclusive jurisdiction of the courts located within the county of San Francisco, California. The failure of craigslist to exercise or enforce any right or provision of the TOU shall not constitute a waiver of such right or provision. If any provision of the TOU is found by a court of competent jurisdiction to be invalid, the parties nevertheless agree that the court should endeavor to give effect to the parties' intentions as reflected in the provision, and the other provisions of the TOU remain in full force and effect. You agree that regardless of any statute or law to the contrary, any claim or cause of action arising out of or related to use of the Service or the TOU must be filed within one (1) year after such claim or cause of action arose or be forever barred. 19. VIOLATION OF TERMS AND LIQUIDATED DAMAGES Please report any violations of the TOU, by flagging the posting(s) for review, or by emailing to: abuse@craigslist.org Our failure to act with respect to a breach by you or others does not waive our right to act with respect to subsequent or similar breaches. You understand and agree that, because damages are often difficult to quantify, if it becomes necessary for craigslist to pursue legal action to enforce these Terms, you will be liable to pay craigslist the following amounts as liquidated damages, which you accept as reasonable estimates of craigslists' damages for the specified breaches of these Terms: a. If you post a message that (1) impersonates any person or entity; (2) falsely states or otherwise misrepresents your affiliation with a person or entity; or (3) that includes personal or identifying information about another person without that person's explicit consent, you agree to pay craigslist one thousand dollars ($1,000) for each such message. This provision does not apply to Content that constitutes lawful non-deceptive parody of public figures. b. If craigslist establishes limits on the frequency with which you may access the Service, or terminates your access to or use of the Service, you agree to pay craigslist one hundred dollars ($100) for each message posted in excess of such limits or for each day on which you access craigslist in excess of such limits, whichever is higher. c. If you send unsolicited email advertisements to craigslist email addresses or through craigslist computer systems, you agree to pay craigslist twenty five dollars ($25) for each such email. d. If you post Content in violation of the TOU, other than as described above, you agree to pay craigslist one hundred dollars ($100) for each Item of Content posted. In its sole discretion, craigslist may elect to issue a warning before assessing damages. e. If you are a Posting Agent that uses the Service in violation of the TOU, in addition to any liquidated damages under clause (d), you agree to pay craigslist one hundred dollars ($100) for each and every Item you post in violation of the TOU. A Posting Agent will also be deemed an agent of the party engaging the Posting Agent to access the Service (the "Principal"), and the Principal (by engaging the Posting Agent in violation of the TOU) agrees to pay craigslist an additional one hundred dollars ($100) for each Item posted by the Posting Agent on behalf of the Principal in violation of the TOU. f. If you aggregate, display, copy, duplicate, reproduce, or otherwise exploit for any purpose any Content (except for your own Content) in violation of these Terms without craigslist's express written permission, you agree to pay craigslist three thousand dollars ($3,000) for each day on which you engage in such conduct. Otherwise, you agree to pay craigslist's actual damages, to the extent such actual damages can be reasonably calculated. Notwithstanding any other provision of these Terms, craigslist retains the right to seek the remedy of specific performance of any term contained in these Terms, or a preliminary or permanent injunction against the breach of any such term or in aid of the exercise of any power granted in these Terms, or any combination thereof. 20. FEEDBACK We welcome your questions and comments on this document in the craigslist feedback forum: http://forums.craigslist.org/?forumID=8
Thu Jul 29 23:23:53 EDT 2010I like it better already. Probably convert semanticrestructuring.com to wordpress before long, and have already decided netlaw.robertlink.org is where I really should be putting my energy.